Business Plan Blank Comic Strips - Page 93

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View 921 - 930 results for business plan blank comic strips. Discover the best "Business Plan Blank" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #hire, #consultant, #raise morale, #pointless, #magic, #feel good, #business

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The Boss says, "I hired a consultant to raise your morale by making you glad you're not him." Ratbert says, "No one loves me. My life is pointless. I eat old soap." The Boss says, "Now let the magic begin." Dilbert says, "I feel good about not eating old soap." Ratbert says, "Cha!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #letter, #ceo, #reading, #good fortune, #share, #winery, #wine, #angry, #helicopters, #human chess board, #frighten, #dwarves, #business

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The Boss says, "Our CEO wants to share his good fortune with all employees." The Boss says, "He invites all of you to visit his winery and buy his non-award-winning wine at nearly retail prices." The Boss says, "He asks that you not park your helicopters near his human chess board because it frightens the dwarves."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #boss, #security, #canceled, #dead, #morbid, #cremate, #thermostat, #hiding, #ductwork

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Dilbert says, "Where's our pointy-haired boss?" Carol says, "Dead." Carol says, "I canceled his security clearance, so he went into hiding in the ductwork. By now he's probably gotten stuck and starved to death." Carol says, "I plan to cremate his remains, but it might take a while; the thermostat only goes up to 85."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2010's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #dead, #ductwork, #stuck, #meeting, #discuss, #solution, #cool device, #duct pressure, #carcass, #jerry maguire, #business

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Dilbert says, "Our pointy-haired boss is stuck in our building's ductwork and presumed dead." Dilbert says, "We can alert the proper authorities, or we can design a totally cool device to increase the duct pressure and propel his carcass into the stratosphere." Alice says, "You had me at 'carcass.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #marketing department, #robust, #products, #confused, #clueless, #useful, #argue, #stupid, #etiquette & ethics, #waste time, #business

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Dilbert says, "The marketing department has asked us to make our products more robust." Dilbert says, "None of us knows what that means." Dilbert says, "So we can either cancel this meeting and go ask them?" Dilbert says, "Or we can pretend that arguing with each other about the true meaning of 'robust' is just as good." Dilbert says, "While that option is stupid, it would give us the illusion of doing something useful right now." Asok says, "Would it be ethical to ignore the long-term interests of stockholders just ot feel good about ourselves for a few minutes?" Dilbert says, "I think robust means it has lots of features." Wally says, "It means sturdy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #dead, #afterlife, #evicted, #management, #teach, #learn, #consultant, #devil, #late, #status report, #locusts, #business

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The Boss says, "Technically, I was dead for a week. But I was evicted from the afterlife and had to come back." The Boss says, "The afterlife has a lot to teach us about management. I brought home a consultant." Dilbert says, "I might be late with my status report." The Boss says, "Do you know what locusts taste like?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2010's comic on:


Tags #ombudsman, #devil, #helen fry, #job, #management, #complaint, #issue, #pitchfork, #business

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The Boss says, "Helen, we're looking for a new ombudsman. Your experience in the afterlife makes you an ideal candidate." Helen says, "I'll take the job. But call me Mrs. Fry." Asok says, "I have an issue with management." The Boss says, "Go to Helen Fry." Yes, I know it's an old joke

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #ombudsman, #management, #dispute, #consultation, #question, #soul, #value, #creepy, #no pupils, #blank eyes, #carefree attitude, #envy, #devil

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The New Ombudsman Asok says, "How can you be impartial in my dispute with management when they are the ones paying you?" Helen Fry says, "Perhaps you have something of value that would allow me to see your side." Wally says, "He's creepy without his soul, but I envy his carefree attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #helen fry, #ombudsman, #devil, #no pupils, #blank eyes, #soul, #take, #marketing, #meeting, #asset, #volunteer, #excited, #raise hand, #lie, #business

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Asok says, "Our ombudsman took my soul in exchange for a favorable view." Asok says, "I'd like a transfer to marketing, where having no soul is widely considered an asset." Man says, "I need someone who can make our product sound competitive without vomiting on his own copy." Asok says, "Ooh! Ooh!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #soul, #lost, #google search, #ritual sacrifice, #no pupils, #business

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Asok Lost His Soul Asok says, "We can improve our Google search ranking with key words, inbound links and?" Asok says, "?Ritual sacrifice of a?" Asok says, "I think it's down to you or me." Coworker says, "What are you implying?"