Buying Company Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

932 Results for Buying Company

View 921 - 930 results for buying company comic strips. Discover the best "Buying Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted The First Gay And Disabled Person

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted The First Gay And Disabled Person - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, business, disabled, token, gay, homosexual, celebrate, employment

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted, the company wants to celebrate you as the first disabled gay person to hold this job. ted: but... i'm neither gay nor disabled. boss: the celebration is next week, so you have plenty of time to fix that.

Industry Trends

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Industry Trends - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, industry, trend, luck, act, fast, change, increase, profits, advantage, future, bogus, training, program, company

View Transcript

Transcript

in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.

Remote Workforce

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Remote Workforce - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Lose, market share, remote, workforce, employees, micro management, shoulders, minute, coffee, company, baffle

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we're losing market share to a company that has a remote workforce. dilbert: how can they be doing so well when the employees don't have someone like you looking over their shoulders every minute? boss: i know its baffling.

Pandemic Vacation Days

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pandemic Vacation Days - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, company policy, video conference, vacation day, vacation, company rule, pandemic, go, solve, problem, laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and dilbert on video conference call. boss: human resources is on my back to make sure everyone uses their vacation days this year. it's a company rule. dilbert: what's the point of a vacation if we can't go anywhere because of the pandemic? boss: i'm only trying to solve my own problem here.

Cut Pay For No Commute

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cut Pay For No Commute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, commute, employment, wages, reduce, pocket, stealing, prison, innocent, laptop, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i've decided to reduce your pay because you no longer commute. when you pocket those savings, it is as if you are stealing from the company. dilbert: actually, it isn't like that at all. boss: everyone in prison says they're innocent too.

Must Register To Date

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Must Register To Date - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, love & dating, managers & supervisors, company policy, human resources, new, dating, register, link, details, laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

boss on video call. boss: our new policy is that employees cannot date each other unless they register with human resources. this won't have much impact on my department because most of you are completely undatable. voice from laptop: ouch. boss: there's a link for details, but you won't need it.

Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, political issues, Politics, stock market, technology, company, controversial, predict, impact, drop, earnings, stock, sell, involvement

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.

Make Us Look Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make Us Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, press release, company, support, social, issues, complaining, awesome, research, appearances

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: write a press release saying our company supports whatever social issues people are griping about lately. tina: does it matter which issues i pick? ceo: nah. just make us look awesome. tina: should i research the issues first? ceo: are you trying to not get the point?

Anythey

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anythey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, company, policy, pronouns, anythey, question, offensive

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting: the new company policy is to use "they" in place of offensive pronouns. does anythey have a comment or question? asok: "anythey"? boss: don't fight it.

Anonymous Sources

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, company, anonymous, credibility, trust, lie, thief, sources

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.