Desk Comic Strips - Page 93
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Character
979 Results for Desk
View 921 - 930 results for desk comic strips. Discover the best "Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday February 29,
2008
Tags 300 iq, computer, convincing people, desk, evil director, human resources, nobel prize, track record, unix, technology, business
Transcript
Catbert, the evil director of human resources, posts a job opening. Requirements: Candidate must have an I.Q. of 300, two centuries of unix experience and a track record of winning nobel prizes. "90% of my job is convincing people they don't deserve theirs."
Monday March 24,
2008
Tags flatten hair, important document, option, put on head happy, unique filing, clutter
Transcript
Dilbert: Where can I put this important document so it won't get lost in your desk clutter? Carol: I'll flatten my hair so you can leave it on top of my head. Are you happy? Dilbert: I didn't know happy was an option."
Tuesday March 25,
2008
Tags hired archaeologist, desk clutter, copier reapirman, used tools, not fast, found in clutter, skull of men
Transcript
Carol, I hired famed archaeologist Dogbert to find the budget report in the clutter of your desk. Dogbert: This appears to be a copier repairman skull, possibly a ricoh or kyocera. I think he used tools. Carol: Not fast enough."
Saturday August 29,
2009
Tags orders, demands, work, ridiculous, confused
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, rummage through the piles on my desk and find yourself something to do." The boss says, "Afterward, chastise yourself for not doing it the way I would have." Asok says, "Even if you would have done it wrong?" The boss, "Especially then. No one likes a show-off."
Monday September 07,
2009
Tags new employee, introduction, greeting, Advice, scared, regretting, ridiculous
Transcript
The Boss says, "Welcome to your first day on the job." The boss says, "Always lock your desk at night because many of your coworkers are crooks." The boss says, "And the ones that have eyes like this got hired before we did drug testing."
Monday October 19,
2009
Tags sitting, criticism, ridicule, stupidity, ignoring, distracted, work, desk, forgetting
Transcript
the Boss says, "Why didn't you get my input on the vendor selection?" Dilbert says, "I tried, but?" Dilbert says, "You're so easily distracted that for all practical purposes you're nothing but furniture with coffee breath." The Boss says, "Where were we?" Dilbert says, "You were praising me for my good attitude."
Wednesday October 28,
2009
Tags desk, toys, decorations, removing, defending, stifling
Transcript
The Boss says, "Alice, remove the toys from your cubicle. It sends the wrong message." Alice says ,"You mean the message that says this company is a creative environment that values the individual?" The Boss says, "Exactly. We're going for more of an egg carton vibe."
Sunday December 20,
2009
Tags plastic, using, borrowing, germaphobe, stapler
Transcript
Woman says, "Please order a new stapler for me," Carol says, "Did your old one break?" Woman says, "Only in spirit." Woman says, "Every person who came into my cubivle picked it up and fiddled with it," Woman says, "At first I would wipe off the cooties and try to forget." Woman says, "In time my stapler became imbued with sorrow and desperation of every dead-ender that fondled it." Woman says, "I covered it with a plastic bowl and taped it to the desk so no fumes can escape." Wally says, "If you're wondering why your chair is warm, it's because I borrowed it for a meeting." Woman says, "What's the biggest bowl you can order?"
Wednesday January 27,
2010
Tags e-mail, urgent, sitting, desk, computer, flames, eclipse, cell phone, witless protection program, hoax, duped, technology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "The urgent e-mail you forwarded to the entire company is a hoax." Dilbert says, "People don't really burst into flames if they use their cell phones during an eclipse." Dilbert says, "And more bad news: The witless protection program isn't a real thing."
Monday March 08,
2010
Tags coworker, request, people, project, generic advice, sitting at desk, tail wagging, hate, angry, replace, inspire
Transcript
Dogbert the Generic Manager Man says, "We need more people on the project." Dogbert says, "Figure it out. Work smarter not harder. Make a plan. Move some things around. Adjust priorities. Just get it done. Give me a status report." Man says, "That did nothing but make me hate you." Dogbert says, "I can replace you with someone who will pretend to be inspired."

