Freak Out Comic Strips - Page 93
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1000 Results for Freak Out
View 921 - 930 results for freak out comic strips. Discover the best "Freak Out" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 11,
2008
Tags spam filter, rewrote business plan, build an army, indestructible robots, new org chart, microwave
Transcript
Carol says, "Our spam filter became self-aware. It rewrote our business plan." Carol says, "It wants us to build an army of indestructible robots." Carol says, "And the new org chart is out. It looks like you report to... the microwave."
Sunday November 16,
2008
Tags imagination, experince, email, boss, hurts brain, think about it, team players, new projects, form of evil, people squander it
Transcript
Asok says, "Is it my imagination or am I doing your job, plus mine?" Wally says, "That's not your imagination, Asok." Wally says, "It's a little thing I call experience." Wally says, "Once a week, I e-mail our pointy-haired boss and ask him a question." Wally says, "I make the question so complicated that it hurts his brain." The Boss says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Wally says, "He'll spend the rest of the week avoiding me so he doesn't need to think about it." Wally says, "Meanwhile he seeks out team players and hammers them with new projects." Asok says, "So... experience is a form of evil?" Wally says, "Not always. Some people squander it."
Sunday November 23,
2008
Tags apologize for efficiency, apology, how far, meeting, reasonable assumptions, timeline for deployment, vacation, without knowledge of insight, business
Transcript
The boss: Let's figure out a timeline for development. Dilbert: Ted is the only one who knows anything about that. And he's on vacation. The boss: Let's see how far we can get without Ted. Alice: You mean without knowledge or insight? The boss: We can make reasonable assumptions. Dilbert: Or we could wait for Ted to come back tomorrow and ask him.. The boss: I called this meeting and it's not a meeting until someone's time gets wasted! Dilbert: I apologize for my efficiency. The boss: Apology accepted.
Wednesday December 03,
2008
Tags appreciation, lunch, employee appreciation lunch, $35 a piece, one isn't paying, figured out
Transcript
The boss: Okay, the bill for the employee appreciation lunch comes out to $35 apiece. Alice: That only adds up if one of us isn't paying. The boss: The employees figured out why I appreciate taking them to lunch.
Monday December 22,
2008
Tags blame, costume, date, lying, work clothes, scapegoat, depatment, entire comapny, men in unifrom
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."
Friday December 26,
2008
Tags firings, hell, satan, trip, executive retreat, downsize, someplace warm, pool
Transcript
The Boss says, "Carol, book an executive retreat so we can figure out which one of you to downsize." The Boss says, "Find us someplace warm." The Boss says, "Do you have a pool?" the devil says, "You could call it that."
Tuesday December 30,
2008
Tags boss, dehumanizing, easier to downsize, employees, insulting nickname, meeting, osama, rudeness, enemy, business
Transcript
The Boss says, I have assigned a secret insulting nickname to each of you." The Boss says, "It's my way of dehumanizing the enemy so it will be easier to downsize you." Ted says, "The enemy?" The Boss says, "That's enough out of you, Osama."
Monday January 26,
2009
Tags computers, internet, investing, screaming, panic, unemployed, technology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I'm not stressed about being out of work because I have my investments. Let's see how they?" GAAAA!!! Dogbert says, "Maybe some warlords are hiring."
Thursday February 19,
2009
Tags meeting, ridiculous, explanation, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. My company cut the travel budget so I had to hitch a ride with a serial killer." Dilbert says, "He took me to an abandoned slaughterhouse. I knocked him out with a hambone, stole his truck and drove directly here." Man says, "All I heard was 'Blah, blah, blah, I'm late.'" Dilbert says, "Don't make me get my hambone."
Sunday March 15,
2009
Tags problem, ignorance, hiding, budget
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Customers can't figure out our user interface. the boss says, "They should read the manual." Dilbert says, "Our manual is more confusing than our user interface." The boss says, "They can use our onine support database." Dilbert says, "That's more confusing than our manual." The boss says, "We have no money to fix any of that." The boss says, "In situations like this, I like to go to my special place" The boss says, "Someday I hope to have a special place big enough for my entire body." the boss says, "Problem solved."


