Job Comic Strips - Page 93
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Character
936 Results for Job
View 921 - 930 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 21,
2021
Alice Compliments Ted
Tags business, comparison, project, job, great, dread, foreboding, generous, trap, lull, sabotage, career, monster
Transcript
alice: you did a great job on your project ted. ted: thank you. alice: you are most welcome. ted: wait. why do i have a sense of dread and foreboding? it isn't like you to give out generous compliments. this feels like a trap. you're lulling me into a false sense of security. you plan to sabotage my career to make yourself look better by comparison. ted yelling: you monster! boss: what's this all about? alice thinking: that worked out.
Friday February 26,
2021
Who Are They
Tags business, managers & supervisors, job, impossible, laptop, coffee, correct, learn
Transcript
wally: they said it couldn't be done. boss: but you did it? wally: no, it turns out they're usually right. boss: who are "they," and why am i just learning this? wally: you sound like me last week.
Friday March 05,
2021
Think About Long Term
Tags business, technology, long term, dynamics, reasonable, random, decision, job, employment
Transcript
office worker: we need to think longer term about how all of these dynamics play out. dilbert: sounds reasonable. what exactly were we doing before? office worker: i can't speak for anyone else, but i was making random decisions and hoping i'd change jobs before anyone found out.
Tuesday March 30,
2021
Dogbert Crisis Consultant
Tags business, managers & supervisors, subordinates, allegations, crisis, consultant, statement, lying, dumb, believe, public, legal, defense
Transcript
dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."
Monday May 03,
2021
Dilbert Gets A Nemesis
Tags business, managers & supervisors, files, nemesis, assigned, prevent, successful, job, loptop
Transcript
dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i checked my files, and i see no nemesis has been assigned to you. dilbert: why do i need a nemesis? boss: it prevents you from being successful enough to take my job. dilbert: okay, that makes sense.
Wednesday May 12,
2021
Marrying An Elbonian
Tags business, elbonia, accusations, marriage, plan, job, name, sarcasm, bigot
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.
Thursday May 13,
2021
Marriage Takes Work
Tags business, communication, marriage, talk, bigot, job, gay, homosexual, work
Transcript
dilbert: before we get married, we need to talk about a few things. first, i'm only marrying you to prove i'm not a bigot and to save my job. second, neither of us is gay. elbonian man: they say marriage takes work.
Tuesday June 15,
2021
Low Self Esteem
Tags office workers, business, relationships, low, self-esteem, hate, performance, problem, hear, sarcasm
Transcript
employee: my low self-esteem is making me hate you for being good at your job. dilbert: that's not my problem. employee: oh, it will be. it will be. dilbert: was i suppose to hear that?
Saturday June 19,
2021
Potted Plant
Tags business, communication, job, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, employees, feelings, potted plant, new, boss
Transcript
ceo: the only reason you have a job is so i don't have to talk to employees. but i still talk to you every day, so i hired a potted plant to be your new boss. boss: i feel deeply insulted. ceo: see? a plant would never feel that way.
Wednesday June 23,
2021
Ted Will Train You
Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, absence, coffee, helpful, problem, successful, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.


