More Like You Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for More Like You

View 921 - 930 results for more like you comic strips. Discover the best "More Like You" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dense planets, #more garvity, #more dense planets, #no loose ends, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and dogbert walk outside. Dilbert says, "...And we know mass creates gravity because dense planets have more gravity." They stop, Dilbert sits on a rock. Dogbert says, "How do we know which planets are more dense?" Dilbert says, "They have more gravity." Dogbert says, "That's circular reasoning." Dilbert says, "I prefer to think of it as having no loose ends."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #people fear public speaking, #fear death, #kill a guy, #scheduled to speak, #sleep, #threats, #dogcart threatens dilbert, #hints at death, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the breakfast table. Dilbert has his lap top in front of him. Dogbert says, "They say people fear public speaking more than they fear death." Dogbert says, "So technically, if you kill a guy who's scheduled to speak, you're doing him a favor." Dogbert says, "When are you going to sleep." Dilbert says, "Never."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Cartoon, #shows cartoon, #boring presentation, #has no punchline

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert gives a presentation using an overhead projector. Dilbert says, "I'd like to start with a cartoon." Dilbert points at the projection and says, "It's about a guy who shows a cartoon before giving a boring presentation." Dilbert says, "But it doesn't work because the cartoon has no punchline."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #god hates pople, #coffee tastes better, #stir with finger, #lonely religion

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are in the office kitchen getting coffee. Wally says, "I believe God created the earth because he hates people." Wally says, "And I believe coffee tastes better if you stir it with your finger." Dilbert says, "It sound like a lonely religion." Wally says, "They all start that way."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss can't understand hire, #rodeo clown, #engineer, #smells like hay, #fifty percent, #data network engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

A man in a dirty shirt says, to the boss, "Mwa fwa fwa ooh mah fuh." The boss says, "I can't understands a word you say." The boss says, "And your poorly dressed. You must be some sort of technology expert. Or a rodeo clown." The boss introduces dirty guy to Alice. The boss says, "There's a fifty percent chance I hired a data network engineer." Alice says, "I smell hay."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss acts bull, #fast, #pointy haired, #rodeo clown, #woo hoo, #taunts boss, #employee, #new hire

View Transcript

Transcript

The rodeo clown runs after the boss and says, "wah-wah! Woo-Woo!" The rodeo clown sticks his tongue out and waves his hands around. The boss snorts and charges like a bull, his hair like horns. The rodeo clown pulls himself out of the way using a cubicle wall. Wally and Dilbert watch over the walls of thier cubicle. Dilbert says, "Just as I suspected, the new guy is a rodeo clown." Wally says, "he's fast."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big dumb guy, #disagree, #lazy, #habitual liar, #excellent track record, #excellent work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss brings a Big Dumb Guy to Alice's desk. He says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with this big dumb guy." The Boss continues, "He doesn't know he's dumb. So he'll tell people you're dumb if you ever disagree." The Boss: "He's also lazy and a habitual liar." Alice shouts, "Then why do you let him work here?!" The Boss explains, "He has an excellent track record. No one knows why." In front of the Boss and Alice, the Big Dumb Guy bends over and picks up the document that Alice was working on from her desk. Big Dumb Guy shows Alice's document to the Boss. Big Dumb Guy says, "Look what I just did." The Boss responds, "Excellent work." Alice is flabbergasted. The Boss tries to console Alice, who is furious, with "Remember Alice, you're never too old to learn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budgets, #spreadhseet, #error, #exercise in futility, #hum

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands behind Asok, who sits zombie like at his computer, and says, "It's a funny thing about budgets...." Dilbert says, "No matter how hard you try, there's always a spreadsheet error that makes it all an exercise in futility." Dilbert says, "Do you mind if I hum?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret lair, #teach reality, #dumpster, #cubicle, #french fry, #lumbar support

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil drags Asok by his tie. Phil says, "Asok, come to my lair and I will teach you about reality." Asok and Phil stand by a dumpster. ASok says, "Your secret lair is a dumpster?" Phil says, "Get in" Asok and Phil sit in the middle of the trash in the dumpster. Asok says, "It's like my cubicle, but with much better lumbar support!" Phil eats a french fry and says, "French fry?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #life like dumpster, #stinks, #reincarnate, #both hands stink, #life stinks, #devil, #dumpter

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil and Asok sit up to the necks in trash in a dumpster. Phil says, "Asok, life is like this dumpster." Phil says, "On one hand, it stinks..." Asok says, "Both of my hands stink now." Phil says, "And then you reincarnate."