Out Of Business Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Out Of Business

View 921 - 930 results for out of business comic strips. Discover the best "Out Of Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss booked, #highest ratio, #unavailabilty, #usefulness, #sound insulting, #do math, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice asks The Boss, "How about any Tuesday this year?" The Boss replies, "No, I'm booked." Alice says, "You have the highest ratio of unavailability to usefulness I've ever seen." The Boss asks Catbert, "Does that sound like an insult?" Catbert replies, "If I could do math I wouldn't be working in human resources."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #committee across hall, #west side story, #dance fight, #teach

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, The Boss, and Dilbert are meeting. A coworker approaches and says, "I just found out that the committee across the hall is doing the same thing we are." The coworker continues, "All we can do now is hum 'West Side Story' and have a dance-fight." The coworker leaves dancing and humming. Wally turns and says, "Can you teach me how to hum?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #too much supervision, #review, #insanity, #time wasting, #lard filled suit, #supervising

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice exclaims at The Boss, "My review says I 'Need too much supervision.' Are you insane?!" Alice continues, "Most days I can't get your time-wasting, lard-filled suit out of my cubicle with a freakin' crane!!" Alice realizes, "GAAA!! It's a trap! You're supervising me too much right now!!" The Boss replies, "I win."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #minutes, #meeting, #read minutes, #irrelevant things said, #men are idiots, #bad descions, #implied, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

In a meeting, The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, would you read the minutes from our last meeting?" Alice reads, "People said irrelevant things. Bad decisions were made. Men are idiots." The Boss responds, "I don't remember that last part." Alice says, "It was implied." Wally is asleep.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo visit, #hide in restorrom, #too soon, #start dream assignment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, our CEO is visiting next week. I want you to hide in the restroom." Wally opens his drawer to take out his things. The Boss stops him and says, "It's too soon." Wally replies, "It's never too soon to start a dream assignment."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demoted, #one of the little people, #buddy, #anger, #eyebrows, #worked, #years, #snap out of it

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Demoted. The Boss says to Dilbert, "Hey buddy, can you teach me to be one of the little people?" Dilbert replies, "Buddy? My name is Dilbert. I worked for you for years." The Boss says, "Okay, now I'll try. Am I doing the eyebrows right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversations banned, #talk about work, #applies work hours, #home, #Family, #sleeping, #harsh rules, #evil director, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: To: Employees From: Catbert. Catbert types, "All non-work conversations are banned." Catbert continues typing, "From now on you're only allowed to talk about work." An employee is eating dinner at home with his family. All of his children are asleep at the table. His wife says, "I think it only applies during work hours." The employee responds, "I can't take that chance."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering decison, #project, #need to act, #fiber capacity, #serial input, #meeting, #communication problems, #table, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I needed to make an engineering decision about your project this morning." The Boss continues, "You'll need to act like you agree with it so I don't look stupid." Dilbert is at a meeting. A coworker turns to Dilbert and says, "Explain to us how fiber capacity can be increased by serial input at breakfast."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book, #choose good attitude, #six months to live, #depressed, #bad advice, #apathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stops a sad employee and says, "Hey, guy, cheer up. You can choose to have a good attitude!" The sad employee replies, "I just found out I have six months to live." The Boss smiles and hands the employee a book. The Boss says, "Maybe I'm saying it wrong. Try reading the book yourself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #battle of wills, #leave message, #call me, #ignores calls, #cubicles, #same office, #one cubicle over

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to The Boss and Dilbert, "I'm in a battle of wills with a guy who lets all of his calls roll over to voicemail." Wally continues, "I do that too, so all day long we trade messages saying, 'Call me,' and then we ignore the incoming calls." The Boss suggests, "Maybe he's out of the office." Wally responds, "No, I can hear him. He's one cube over from me."