Quibbled About Methodology Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Quibbled About Methodology

View 921 - 930 results for quibbled about methodology comic strips. Discover the best "Quibbled About Methodology" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #worried, #scared, #stupidity, #shaking, #cruel, #economy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'm worried that I won't get a raise this year." The boss says, "You shouldn't worry about that." The boss says, "You should worry that you might lose your job in the next round of layoffs." Dilbert says, "I should worry about that???" The boss says, "Well...probably not." The boss says, "It makes more sense to worry about the entire company going out of business." The boss says, "And that's nothing if the global economy collapses." The boss says, "Maybe you should worry that the only viable livelihood of the future invokes cannibalism." Dogbert says, "Are you still worried about not getting a raise?" Dilbert says, "Not so much."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #office, #Environment, #confronting, #perception, #hot, #complaining

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We replaced our styrofoam cups with paper cups, but it's not so clear that it helps the planet." The boss says, "We didn?t do it to help the planet. We did it to look like the sort of company that cares about that sort of thing." DIlbert says, "Oh. In that case it's working great." The boss says, "As soon as you stop whining."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #salesman, #lying, #annoyed, #reading, #caught

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Your order will only cost about $20,000." Dilbert says, "No it won't." Dilbert says, "We both know you're intentionally underestimating the true cost to get the sale, you lying sack of spit." Man says, "You're not supposed to say that out loud." Dilbert says, "Is it okay if I imagine a bear attacking you?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #information, #confidential, #joking, #angry, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

the Boss says, "I need you to keep this information to yourself. Can you do that?" Dilbert says, "Well, obviously I'd have to weigh the benefits of sharing it versus the risk of getting caught." Dilbert says, "It's sort of a dumb question if you think about it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #idea, #pitch, #bored, #time, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our next presenter is Dilbert." Dilbert says, "I put together a slide show and video." Dilbert says, "While it's running, I'll perform a humorous rap song about the benefits of our product." Dilbert says, "Then each of you will wear a funny hat and participate in a skit." Dilbert says, "Later we'll enjoy a ventriloquist who dresses in a beaver suit and threatens to eat his dummy." Dilbert says, "We'll top it off with a trivia contest, prizes, fireworks in the atrium." Man says, "What can you do in two minutes? We need to catch a plane." Dilbert thinks, "I should have gone with the slide show." Man says, "Mmph"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #frustrated, #angry, #stupidity, #forgetful, #yelling, #ignorant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "?And those are the four things I need you to ask our VP of marketing." The Boss says, "Got it." Dilbert says, "Maybe you should write them down." The boss says, "I'll remember." Dilbert says, "You have a lot on your mind. A little note might be a good idea." The Boss says, "How hard is it to remember three things?" The boss says, "Sheesh!" Dilbert says, "Four things! There are four questions!" The Boss says, "Right, right. There's the one about the battery and the other two." Dilbert says, "There are four questions! Four, four, four!!! And none of them are about a battery!" Later that day The boss says, "Should the new software have a battery?" Man says, "How would I know?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #talking, #meeting, #idea, #changing, #greed, #dangerous, #mean, #cruel, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We need to make our pricing plan more confusing." Dogbert says, "And change our packaging to that hard plastic that always cuts the consumes' hands." Dogbert says, "I've been in a bad mood since everyone started talking about capping my excessive pay."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #job, #meeting, #circular, #ridiculous, #talking, #explaining, #angry, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to develop a procedure for creating policies." Dilbert says, "Do we have a policy on how to develop procedures?" The Boss says, "I think someone wrote a white paper on that." Dilbert says, "What's the procedure for finding white papers?" The Boss says, "Maybe you could ask around." Later that night Woman says, "So, what do you do?" Dilbert says, "I ask around to see if anyone knows about a white paper that talks about a policy for developing procedures to create policies." Dilbert thinks, "You find that sexy." Woman says, "Stop doing the Jedi mind trick!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #talking, #retirement, #planning, #drinking, #coffee, #pessimistic

View Transcript

Transcript

Retirement planning in a bad economy Wally says, "Retirement planning is all about timing." Wally says, "I'm planning to die from global warming on the same day I run out of money." Wally says, "That's one more advantage of being frail. I figure an hour without sunscreen ought to do the trick."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #convincing, #plan, #scheme, #twitter, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "We find you interesting." The boss says, "You do?" Wally says, "Oh, yes. Every little thing you do is interesting." The Boss says, "I didn't know that." Wally says, "Hey, I just had an idea." Wally says, "Maybe you should use twitter to leave us little messages about all of your days activities." Dilbert says, "It would make us feel connected to our leader. And dare I say, more motivated." The Boss says, "Well, gosh. I suppose I could try it." Wally says, "I already feel an improvement in my quality of life." Wally says, "Where's idiot boy now?" Dilbert says, "In the parking lot. No need to look busy yet."