Sit At Computer Comic Strips - Page 93
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1000 Results for Sit At Computer
View 921 - 930 results for sit at computer comic strips. Discover the best "Sit At Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 25,
2000
Tags social misfits, keep him away, normal people, engineering liason
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer working. The Boss approaches with a new employee. The Boss says to the new employee, "Dilbert is one of our social misfits." The Boss says to the new employee, "Your job is to keep him away from normal people." Dilbert, still facing his computer is obviously annoyed by what he is hearing. Unable to keep quiet, Dilbert yells without turning around, "Hello! I'm right here!" The Boss and the new employee unaffected by Dilbert's outburst, continue their conversation. The Boss says to the new employee, "Your title will be Engineering Liason."
Friday April 28,
2000
Tags demons possessed, view websites, unspeakable abominations, approve the purchase
Transcript
Wally says to the Boss, "Demons have possessed my PC. They force me to view websites of unspeakable abominations." Wally continues, "The only solution is for you to approve the purchase of a new PC for me." Dilbert approaches Wally, now sitting at his computer and asks, "How are the unspeakable abominations today?" Wally replies, "Much faster."
Wednesday May 03,
2000
Tags cep, obscenely wealthy, guest house, build house, speech writer, workers, made him rich, bragging, condescending, truth
Transcript
Ed stands at the podium and says, "As CEO, I thank you for making me obscenely wealthy." Alice, Wally and Dilbert continue to sit and listen. Ed goes on to say, "Yesterday, I built a guest house using bundles of cash as bricks." Ed looks down at his paper, thinking "I need a new speech writer."
Monday May 08,
2000
Tags generic self help, consultant, keep a journal, lead by example, business
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."
Tuesday May 30,
2000
Tags no click shopping, patent, whiners, ship books
Transcript
Dogbert holds a clipboard and approaches Dilbert at his computer. Dogbert says, "My patent for no-click shopping was granted." Dogbert continues, "I'm sure some whiners will say it's an obvious idea." Dogbert turns to Dilbert and says, "You'd better click something or I'll have to ship you some books."
Friday June 23,
2000
Tags chatter non stop, every woman, no male traits, galk
Transcript
Ming says to Dilbert as they sit together at a table, "Do you mind if I chatter nonstop about people you don't know?" Dilbert answers, "No." Dilbert then asks Ming, "Do you mind if I gawk at every woman who walks by?" Ming answers, "Yes." Ming says to Dilbert, "In fact, I would appreciate it if you displayed no male traits whatsoever." Dilbert responds, "Can do."
Sunday July 09,
2000
Tags dna, feed her, human genome, human simulations, invented, mapped and decoded, market application, on computer watch, punish her, samples, software, software simulation, engineering
Transcript
Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"
Monday July 10,
2000
Tags perfromance evaluation, 3% raise, earn a billion, steals as much
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Write a performance evaluation for yourself." The Boss continues, "Shoot for about 3% raise...because that's what you're getting." Dilbert's computer states, "Dilbert's inventions will earn a billion dollars. But we think he steals almost as much."
Thursday July 27,
2000
Tags upgraded three things, broke three things, terms, computer work
Transcript
The I.S. employee says to Noriko, "Well, I upgraded three things and I accidentally broke three things." The I.S. employee continues, "In I.S. terms, I came out ahead." Noriko responds, "Does my computer work?" The I.S. employee replies, "No, but if it did, it would be much faster."
Saturday July 29,
2000
Tags computer screen, fuzzy, fiddling, stop working, flu season, clean screen, handkerchief
Transcript
The Boss calls to Dilbert as he stands in the doorway of his office. "Thanks to you, my computer screen is all fuzzy now!" Dilbert continues walking, wondering to himself what the Boss was talking about. The Boss is irritated with Dilbert and with both arms raised he says, "You're always fiddling with something that makes something else stop working." Dilbert replies, "Don't clean your screen with your handkerchief during flu season." The Boss answers with both hands on his hips, "Stop changing the subject."


