Success Sounds Like Comic Strips - Page 93

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1000 Results for Success Sounds Like

View 921 - 930 results for success sounds like comic strips. Discover the best "Success Sounds Like" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dilbert as waiter, #hots on customer, #insults customer, #specials, #rude, #age

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Dilbert is waiting on a table. He says to the customer, "I'll be your server tonight... Whoa, you're beautiful." Dilbert continues, "Would your grandfather mind if I asked you out?" The customer replies, "He's my husband." Dilbert turns to the older man and says, "Moving right along, would you like to hear about our specials?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demo, #good sale, #sales training, #see coming, #selling, #sucker, #victim, #wedgie, #gullible

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Headline: Sales Training. The speaker points to a picture of an overly smiley man. He says, "Don't act like you're selling something." The speaker points to a picture of a man getting a wedgie. He says, "A good sale is like a good wedgie. Your victim shouldn't see it coming." The speaker continues, "For this next demonstration I need a volunteer who can't see what's coming." The man next to Dilbert raises his hand.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2002's comic on:


Tags #man without substance, #use buzzwords, #sell solutions, #not products

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At a meeting, M.T. says, "Hi, I'm M.T. Suit. I'm a man without substance." Alice looks at him nervously. M.T. continues, "I compensate by using buzzwords and attending meetings." M.T. continues, "We need to sell solutions, not products!" The Boss thinks, "I like his style."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #email, #engineer, #huge, #huge buzz, #huge success, #sales increase, #six emails, #track numbers, #engineering

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A coworker addresses the meeting, "The ad campaign was a huge, huge success!" The Boss responds, "Wow!" Dilbert responds, "Define 'huge, huge' success.' How much did sales increase?" The coworker replies, "We don't track those numbers." The coworker continues, "But I know the ad created a huge buzz because of all the e-mail I got the next day." Dilbert asks the coworker, "How many messages did you get?" The coworker responds, "Six. But that's a lot for one topic." The Boss exclaims, "Wow! Six!" Dilbert responds, "How many of the six were from your own employees?" The coworker turns to The Boss and asks, "Who invited the engineer?" The Boss replies, "I thought he was with you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #man hater, #angry women, #pantsuits, #turned on, #decisive, #supervisor

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The Boss is standing with an angry looking woman. The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a man-hater to be your supervisor." Dilbert responds, "Why?' The Boss replies, "Frankly, I'm kinda turned on by angry women in pantsuits." The Boss' head is smashed down and Dilbert's coffee is poured all over his head. The Boss says, "She's decisive. I like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #alice in charge, #drink coffee, #insulting, #man hating supervisor, #hates men, #picks on wally

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The Boss is standing with an angry looking woman. The Boss says to Dilbert, "I hired a man-hater to be your supervisor." Dilbert responds, "Why?' The Boss replies, "Frankly, I'm kinda turned on by angry women in pantsuits." The Boss' head is smashed down and Dilbert's coffee is poured all over his head. The Boss says, "She's decisive. I like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bugs, #database, #not to learn, #put bugs back in, #strong desire, #apathetic

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Asok hands a piece of paper to The Boss. Asok says, "I worked all weekend to get the bugs out of the database." The Boss replies, "But now the data makes us look bad. Put back the bugs." Asok says to Wally, "Can you teach me to be apathetic like you?" Wally responds, "Only if you have a strong desire not to learn."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2002's comic on:


Tags #added coffee, #carpet, #coffee stain, #mans face, #miracle, #squirrel body

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Dilbert, Tina, and Wally are eating lunch. Wally says, "I found a coffee stain on my carpet that looks like a man's face." Tina replies, "It might be a miracle... Or maybe a sign of the end of time." Wally responds, "I hope not. I added coffee and gave him a squirrel body."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demonstrate, #life to have meaning, #wrong place, #can't do that, #meeting, #presentation, #business

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "I'd like to demonstrate some things we can't do." The coworker responds, "I don't care about things you can't do." Dilbert says, "I know, but it makes a better demonstration this way." The coworker exclaims, "I want my life to have meaning!" Dilbert points out and says, "You came to the wrong place." Dilbert adds, "Can't do that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2002's comic on:


Tags #criticize employees, #recreational criticising, #read email, #alice needs to talk

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The Boss thinks, "I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I'll feel better if I criticize some employees." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "I'm doing some recreational criticizing. What do you have for me?" Dilbert responds, "E-mail." The Boss yells, "You read e-mail like a chimp!" Dilbert replies, "Alice said she needs to talk to you."