Take The Job Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Take The Job

View 921 - 930 results for take the job comic strips. Discover the best "Take The Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #economy, #job, #screaming, #health, #Promotion, #rejection, #denial, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Asok, the company isn't growing, and no one is quitting in this economy." The boss says, "Your only hope for promotion is if a senior engineer dies." Dilbert says, "I joined a gym!" Asok says, "No-ooo!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #enticing, #brochure, #trick, #refusal, #ideas, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Hi Graybeard. I brought you a brochure for a great retirement home." Graybeard says, "I'm only 52. I'm not going to retire just so you can get promoted into my job." Asok says, "Risky adventure?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #assignment, #completed, #checking, #ridicule, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "The prototype is done. Come take a look at the user interface." The boss says, "It works great, but make sure this thing is totally idiot-proof." Dilbert says, "Again?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #award, #incentive, #contradiction, #unimportant, #ridiculous, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I want you three to put together a teamwork award program." Wally says, "If we do a good job, can we give ourselves the award?" The boss says, "No." Alice says, "Great. Now I have no incentive to do a good job on this award thing." The boss says, "Keeping your job should be all the incentive you need." Dilbert says, "Then why does anyone need a teamwork award?" Wally says, "Let's just slap something together and randomly nominate people." Asok says, "I got a teamwork award and yet I feel no different." Dilbert says, "Yup."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #ridicule, #criticism, #depressed, #sad, #mean

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I see my job as giving you the information you need to make the right decision." Carol says, "I see your job as e-mailing me links to web sites full of stale and incomplete information." Dilbert says, "Can we go back to pretending I'm useful?" Carol says, "Sure. I'll give you a pity listen."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #ridiculous, #explaining, #software, #reassurance, #angry, #annoyed, #lazy, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "My productivity software turned on me." Wally says, "It keeps crashing my computer. But that's okay because I don't need a computer to do my job." Wally says, "Do you have any assignments that are sort of pre-industrial?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #introduction, #greeting, #Advice, #scared, #regretting, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Welcome to your first day on the job." The boss says, "Always lock your desk at night because many of your coworkers are crooks." The boss says, "And the ones that have eyes like this got hired before we did drug testing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #idea, #suggestion, #complaining, #Advice, #greed, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "According to my analysis, all future ideas are already covered by over-general patents." Dilbert says, "Our best strategy is to get out of this business and become trademark infringement lawyers." The boss says, "I don't know how to be a lawyer." Catbert says, "That only matters if you take cases on a contingency basis."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #job, #work, #scheme, #guessing, #cruel, #mean, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Ted, your new responsibility is to keep the pigeons from defiling our ledges." Ted says, "Are you hoping this awful assignment will cause me to quit?" The boss says, "Not at all." Ted says, "Are you hoping I'll fall out a window?" The boss says, "Maybe you should stop guessing now,"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telling, #confused, #relinquish, #change, #excuses, #reasoning

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Tina, you can't work at home anymore because the admins can't do it, and they're jealous." Tina says, "I'm a technical writter. Why don't you explain to the admins that my job is different from theirs." The Boss says, "When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."