Wally Sat In Chair Comic Strips - Page 93

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mental powers, #predicting, #proven psychic, #scientific methid, #testing

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Ken the Skeptic sits in a chair, drinking from a cup of coffee. He says, "I've used the scientific method to debunk 100% of the people who claim they have mental powers." Dogbert sits on the couch and says, "Are you saying that every test you perform turns out the way you predict it will?" Ken says, "What's your point?" Dogbert's ears fly up and he screams, "You've proven that you're psychic!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales force, #retirement buyout, #fifty dollars, #meeting, #boss, #business

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At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "The sales force was offered a retirement buyout package of fifty dollars." He continues, "One hundred percent of the sales force elected to take the offer." The Boss says, "I wonder what they know that we don't know." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "There's a hole with no bottom."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge risk, #entrepreneur, #denail, #archival, #ceo, #humane, #bonuses

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In the company cafeteria, Dilbert and Wally are eating lunch. Dilbert says, "I'd quit and become and entrepreneur, but I don't know how they handle such huge risks." Wally, his mouth full of food, says, "Denial, probably." Alice walks up with her lunch tray and says, "We got bought by our archrival this morning." Alice sits down and says, "Their CEO says he plans to be as 'humane' as possible." Dilbert says, "He sounds nice." Wally says, 'Maybe we'll get bonuses!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slight flu, #copy to wally, #project, #least reason to live

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A guy with cold sweat hands a paper to Dilbert. he says, "I finished my work despite having a slight flu. Here's your copy." Dilbert says, "Um... you should give that to Wally." The guy says, "Wally isn't on this project." Dilbert says, "I know. I just figure he has the least reason to live."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deputy of common sense, #safety inspector, #after insepction, #determine pay, #decrease in accidents, #trips wally

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Dogbert, Deputy of Common Sense, stands a filing cabnet and says, "Are you the government safety inspector?" The inspector says, "Yup. I love my job." Dogbert watches as the inspector trips Wally and notes something on his clipboard. Wally's glasses fall off and he says, "HEY!" Dogbert puts his hand on his gun and says, "How does your boss determine your pay?" The inspector writes something down and says, "It's based on the decrease in accidents after my inspection."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #harmful to workers, #demonstrate danger, #controlled experimnet, #rebellion, #sarcasm, #complacency, #going bald

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WARNING!! Dogbert sits behind a desk with Wally and says, "Author Norman Solomon has determined that the Dilbert comic strip is harmful to workers." A comic strip sits on the table. Dogbert shows the comic strip to Wally and says, "I will demonstrate the danger with this carefully controlled experiment." Dogbert asks, "Have your palns for rebellion been replaced by sarcasm and complacency?" Wally rubs his head and says, "And I think I'm going bald, too!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new policy, #discriminate against single people, #legal, #marital staus, #no reason, #home, #polygamists

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At a staff me Boss meets with Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "My new policy is to discriminate against single people. It's totally legal!" The Boss holds up a piece of paper and says, "Write your marital status on this list so I know who has no reason to go home at night." They all leave the meetin and the Boss looks at the list. He says, "Dang! What are the odds you'd all be polygamists?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #knows about wally, #phone call logs, #web hits, #emails, #urine test, #college grades, #salary, #Family, #business, #money

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Catbert sits on Wally's desk holding some papers and says, "The company knows everything about you, Wally." Catbert looks in Wally's file and says, "We have logs of all you phone calls, web hits, and e-mail. We have your urine test, college grades, salary and family contacts..." Catbert says, "It's against our policy to kill employees and replace them with low paid impersonators, but I wanted you to know it's feasible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #going forward basis, #time travel, #concept of time, #boss understnds, #got lucky

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The Boss leans against a desk or table and says to Dilbert, "I suggest that you deal with the issue on a going forward basis." Dilbert says, "Thanks for ruling out time travel. You're usually not that helpful." In the cafeteria, Alice, Wally and Dilbert are eating lunch. Alice says, "Are you saying he understands the concept of 'time' now?" Dilbert says, "Or he just got lucky on this one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #silly putty, #fake beauty mark, #too much beauty, #fashion headquarters, #heroin chic, #dogs with tumors

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Dilbert is sitting in a chair and Dogbert says, 'Do you have any 'silly putty' I can use as a fake beauty mark?" Dilbert and Dogbert ist on Dilbert's bed. Dogbert has a huge lump of silly putty on his head. Dilbert holds upa mirror and says, "Maybe you should use less." Dogbert says, "There's no such thing as too much beauty." Meanwhile, at fashion headquaters... One guy looks a photograph and says, "We got away with 'heroin chic.' What's next?" The other guy says, "How about dogs with tumors?" A big pile of photos lies onthe table.