Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 93
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1000 Results for Work Ethic
View 921 - 930 results for work ethic comic strips. Discover the best "Work Ethic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 17,
2008
Tags users want, supply and emnad, idiot, managing, work harder, earn less money, fire me, obvious things
Transcript
The Boss says, "Find out what the users want before your build it." Dilbert says, "Why are you explaining my job to me as if I'm an idiot?" The Boss says, "It's called managing." The Boss says, "I assume you're dumb because you work harder than I do and earn less money." The Boss says, "And my boss would fire me if I just sat in my office and did nothing." The Boss says, "So I wander around and say obvious thing to you idiots until quitting time." The Boss says, "Then I go home and eat until my underpants don't fit." The Boss says, "Thanks for asking."
Sunday August 24,
2008
Tags seminar, teach, make millions, scam, seminar name, crush hopes, dreams, bitter and broken, nominal fee, invest, 100 to one million
Transcript
Asok says, "I'm going to a seminar that will teach me how to make a million dollars!" Alice says, "It's a scam." Asok says, "How could you know that?" Asok says, "I haven't even told you the name of the seminar!" Asok says, "You can't be sure it is a scam if you know none of the details." Asok says, "You just want to crush my hopes so I become like you." Asok says, "But it won't work because I have dreams! I won't be a bitter and broken cynic like you two!" Asok says, "I'll have the last laugh after I pay my nominal fee and learn how to 'Turn a Hundred Dollars Into a Million.'" Dogbert says, "invest $100 at 5% interest and wait 190 years. Thanks for coming."
Tuesday September 02,
2008
Tags no budget, raise, quit, job refernce, work again, manipulate, harrasment
Transcript
The Boss says, "Alice, there's no budget to give you a raise, but I'll give you something that is just as good." The Boss says, "I promise that if you quit on me I will give you a bad reference and you will never work again." Alice says, "How is that just as good as a raise?" The Boss says, "Try to see it from my point of view."
Thursday September 18,
2008
Tags head explode, one more thing, clean up, aisle three, work, over worked, crazy
Transcript
The Boss says, "Ted, I know you said your head would explode if I ask you to do one more thing, but..." POW! The Boss says, "Cleanup on aisle three."
Sunday September 21,
2008
Tags meetings, introductions, erin, sue boysenberry, resume, shrink, prescribe pills, be strong, self employed
Transcript
A man says, "Please introduce yourself by saying your name and who you work for." A woman says, "My name is Erin and I work for Sue Boysenberry." The man says, "Wow, lucky. I hear she's great." Another man says, "Can you give her my resume?" One Minute Later The second man says, "I'm so sorry for you." Another woman says, "You must cry a lot." The second man says, "If you ever need to talk to someone, I know a good shrink." The second man says, "He can prescribe pills that will make you feel self-employed." The second woman says, "Be strong. We'll all pray for you." The first man says, "Next."
Sunday September 28,
2008
Tags answer technical question, bad actor, best person, fake own death, helping customer, insult dead, just a quick question, polite, safest course, work that divison, commercial sales
Transcript
A man says, "Hi, I'm a customer of your commercial sales division." "The man says, "I heard you would be the best person to answer a technical question..." Dilbert says, "I don't work in that division." The man says, "I know. It's just a quick question." Dilbert says, "If I tell you something different from what the commercial division tells you, I'll get in trouble." Dilbert says, "But I'll also get in trouble for not helping a customer." Dilbert says, "My safest course of action is to fake my own death." The man says, "You're a bad actor." Dilbert says, "It isn't polite to insult the dead."
Friday October 24,
2008
Tags quality of work, dark shadow, stimulates brain, revulsion and dread, death relate me
Transcript
A woman says, "The quality of your graphics casts a dark shadow across all of your work." The woman says, "Your logo stimulates the parts of my brain responsible for revulsion and dread." The woman says, "ONLY DEATH CAN RELEASE ME!" Dilbert says, "So... bad graphics... what else?"
Monday November 24,
2008
Tags bacon and eggs, breakfast, breakfast foods, chicken, dead pig, home early, pig, meeting, animals, business
Transcript
The boss: As I gazed at my bacon and egg this morning, I realized... The chicken contributed, but the pig was commutted. I am so clever. Wally: If I promise to work like a dead big, can i go home early?
Sunday December 14,
2008
Tags agree, disagree, idea, plan, terrible idea, worst ever idea, bordering irresponsible, disagrees with everyone, idea is awful, manipulate me, terrible tidea, dance puppet dance
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you have a minute to look t my terrible idea? It's the worst idea ever, totally impractical, and bordering on irresponsible. Ted: Why are you saying that about your own idea? Dilbert: Because you're one of those jerks who automatically disagree with everyone. I'm telling you my idea is awful so you will feel compelled to say it is great. Ted: Now that I know how you plan to manipulate me, it won't work. Dilbert: I'm so surprised to hear that you disagree. Now look at my terrible terrible idea.Dance, puppet, dance. Ted: THIS IS A GREAT IDEA!
Tuesday December 16,
2008
Tags office workers, valuable, value, legacy system, less valuable, never appear less valuable, dress code troll
Transcript
Dilbert: I worry that being assigned to work on the legacy systems will make me appear less valuable in the future. Catbert: You have my word that you could never appear less valuable than you are now. Gilbert: Why do your assurances make me feel worse? Catbert: Your new dress code is "troll."


