A Comic Strips - Page 93

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Ceo Fixes His Problem

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Ceo Fixes His Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #product safety, #danger, #battery, #recall, #cell phone, #samsung, #media, #Entertainment, #technology

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CEO: The press says I need to resign because of our exploding phones fiasco. Dilbert: Maybe you can change their minds by sending the press our new model that doesn't explode. CEO: I already sent them the exploding phones and said it was our new models. Your way left too much to chance.

Dogber Pr Firm Helps With Phones

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Dogber Pr Firm Helps With Phones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #safety, #product, #pr, #public relations, #battery, #samsung, #explosion, #danger

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Boss: We hired The Dogbert Public Relations Firm to help us with our exploding phone problem. Dogbert: We have two choices. We can either recall all of the phones, or we can convince people that having one ear is cool. Boss: Recalls are expensive. Dogbert: Okay, the Van Gogh strategy it is.

Ted Gets A New Phone

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Ted Gets A New Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #punishment, #reward, #gift, #samsung, #explosion, #battery

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Boss: Congratulations, Ted, your job performance has earned you a new mobile phone. Ted: Isn't this the model that has the exploding battery problem? Boss: Your job performance wasn't good either.

Exploding Phones

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Exploding Phones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #bomb, #cell phone, #samsung, #fire, #explosion, #competition, #technology

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Dilbert: We're getting bad press because the batteries in our new line of mobile phones keep exploding. Boss: Load them into a big truck and park it in front of our competitor's building. Dilbert: Technically, that would be domestic terrorism. Boss: There are way too many laws.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #scam, #language, #accent, #communication

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Dogbert: I'm starting a foreign accent schools for the lazy. People assume you're smarter when you know more than one language. But learning a new language takes too much work. So I'll teach you how to speak your own language with a foreign accent. People will assume you are bilingual at the very least. And when you use bad grammar with a foreign accent it makes you look adorable. You'll never need to do another courtesy laugh, either. People will just assume you didn't get the joke. Dilbert: This is one of your better ideas. Dogbert: You should hear it with an accent!

Acting Interested In Dilbert

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Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation

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Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Brain Fragments

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Brain Fragments - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bored, #boredom, #health, #mundane

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Dilbert: I need to take an extended medical leave to recover from a boredom-related injury at work. You gave ma a task so boring that my brain tried to escape through my lower gastrointestinal tract. Boss: I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Dilbert: I found brain fragments in my pants.

Brain Trapping

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Brain Trapping - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #boredom, #bored, #mundane

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Wally: Don't get too close. He's brain-trapping. Asok: What? Wally: He's doing a task so boring that he has to cover his ear holes so his brain won't try to escape. There's no way for it to get out now. Asok: Did he just get taller?

Brain Escapes Ear Holes

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Brain Escapes Ear Holes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bored, #boredom, #brain, #menial

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Boss: I need you to research this. Dilbert: Uh-oh. This task is so boring that I"m worried my brain will try to escape out of my ear holes. Boss: That's not a real thing, is it? Dilbert: Ow! It's starting!

Don't Escalate

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Don't Escalate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #laziness, #challenge, #help

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Dilbert: I need to escalate an issue to you. Boss: No. Get it away from me. I don't like issues. Especially the hard ones. Dilbert: Thank you for all the nothing. Boss: Shoo! Go!