Answer Boss Phone Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Answer Boss Phone

View 921 - 930 results for answer boss phone comic strips. Discover the best "Answer Boss Phone" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Cancels Food Service

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Cancels Food Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch, #Food, #stealing, #refrigerator, #property, #misunderstanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've decided to cancel our food service to save money. Dilbert: We don't have a food service. We all bring our own food and keep in the break room refrigerator. Boss: I've been eating the food in there for seven years. Dilbert: I'd keep that to myself if I were you.

Contradicting Himself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Contradicting Himself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #managing, #proof, #body cam, #camera, #recording

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my employee body cam playback, you contradicted yourself eleven times today. Boss: Your stupid body cam is interfering with my ability to manage. Dilbert: By "manage," do you mean contradicting yourself and later denying it? Boss: I don't not mean that.

Accidental Deletion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Accidental Deletion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #coverup, #body cam, #denial, #deception, #proof

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm glad I started wearing an employee body cam. Here's a video of you yesterday, saying the opposite of what you told me today. Boss: Oops! I accidentally deleted it. Dilbert: Luckily, I have seven hundred backups.

Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #body cam, #surveillance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #greed, #scavenging, #cannibal, #furniture, #energy, #vibes, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?

Nothing Dilbert Does Matters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nothing Dilbert Does Matters - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #accomplishment, #meaning, #meaningless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I completed my assignment, and yet I feel no sense of accomplishment. Could it be because nothing I do makes any difference in the world? Boss: I was going to tell you that, but I didn't want to demotivate you.

No Dumb Questions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Dumb Questions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #question, #answer, #binary, #coding, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a dumb question. Dilbert: There are no dumb questions. Boss: When you delete software, where do all the zeroes and ones go? Dilbert: I stand corrected.

Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reality, #simulation, #aliens, #alternate universe, #perception

View Transcript

Transcript

News: Scientists confirmed that our reality is actually a software simulation created by an advanced civilization. Dilbert: That makes no sense unless the advanced civilization is a bunch of psychopaths who like to see us suffer. Catbert1: One of the idiots in our simulation is insulting us. Catbert2: I'm going to break his phone screen.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #leadership, #power, #influence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why isn't your project done? Dilbert: I can't make the people on my team do any work because I'm not their boss. Boss: Sure you can. It's called leadership. I do it all the time. Dilbert: All you do is threaten to fire people. I can't do that because I"m not their boss. Boss: That's why you have to use your soft leadership skills A good leader can get people to do anything. Dilbert: Then why couldn't you get me to finish my project on time? And why do you pay me? You could just lead me to work for free. Boss: Shut up or I'll fire you.

Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #swearing, #exaggeration, #deception, #accomplishment

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I achieved all of my milestones on my secret project this month. Boss: How do I know any of that is true? Wally: I swear on the lives of my coworkers. Boss: I'm getting a mixed message here.