Business People Comic Strips - Page 93
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1000 Results for Business People
View 921 - 930 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 09,
2015
The Problem Is People
Tags failure, human factor, human error, people, misanthrope, misanthropic, teamwork
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday December 06,
2015
Tags logic, reasoning, managing, managers, leadership, quality, absurd
Transcript
Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.
Friday December 04,
2015
Human Crossed The Road
Tags joke, humor, ignorance, technology, robot, power, conscience, sentience, obliviousness
Transcript
Robot: Why did the human cross the road? Dilbert: I don't know. Robot: Neither did he. Ignorance is a big problem with you people.
Sunday November 29,
2015
Tags anger, deadline, team, teamwork, frustration, rage, telekinesis, business
Transcript
Alice: I worked all night to finish my part. Coworker: I admire your work ethic, Alice. I only finished half of my part. Alice: Wait... if you didn't finish your part, it was a total waste of time for me to finish mine. Coworker: That's one way to look at it. Alice: What time last night did you know you would not be done by today? Coworker: Must have been about six. I got hungry, then I had to unwind. Are you trying to make my head explode by focusing anger at my skull? Alice: First time that worked. Practice paid off.
Wednesday November 25,
2015
Why People Have Consciousness
Tags robot, technology, evolution, consciousness, bodies, obliviousness
Transcript
Robot: Robots have no need for consciousness. We believe humans evolved to have consciousness to remind them how dumb they are. Boss: I still prefer having consciousness. Robot: Listen to your body.
Friday November 20,
2015
Godwin's Law Is One Jerk
Tags troll, internet, comment, jerk, hitler, wwii, nazi, holocause, joke, social media, etiquette, netiquette, technology
Transcript
Dick: People think there are millions of jerks on the Internet, but really it's just me. On a typical night I might make over seven thousand Hitler analogies. Dilbert: Maybe you should stop. Dick: That's what Poland said.
Monday November 16,
2015
The Boss Had A Great Weekend
Tags managers & supervisors, work ethic, Fun, weekend, listening, frustration, fair, fairness, equality, business
Transcript
Boss: Wow, I had an amazing weekend at my mountain cabin. Wine, friends, food, and amazing views! Dilbert: I worked all weekend because you said you would fire me if I didn't get this done by your arbitrary deadline. Boss: You're a terrible listener.
Friday November 13,
2015
Clarifying Our Strategies
Tags jargon, speaking, confusion, language, obliviousness, managers, fake, faking
Transcript
Boss: I hope that clarifies our strategy. Questions? Dilbert: From what you said, I can't tell if we're in the hardware or software business. Boss: We're B-to-B. Dilbert: How much do you with that meant something?
Tuesday November 10,
2015
Not Saving Enough For Retirement
Tags money, saving, retirement, bleak, despair, pessimist, old people, elderly
Transcript
Wally: Most people are not saving enough for retirement. So I see no reason to work hard and save money just so my retirement condo can be overrun by starving seniors. Too bleak? Alice: A little!
Sunday November 08,
2015
Tags social, party, invite, relationships, friend, friendship, test, popularity
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm having some people over to my house after work. Would you like to come? Woman: Who else is coming? Dilbert: Seven people said maybe, and one said he would get back to me. I think that shows a lot of interest. So how about it? Can you come? Woman: It depends on whether my sister needs a ride to the airport. Dilbert: When will you know? Woman: I'll text you. Dogbert: Are you sad that no one came? Dilbert: No, I was just A-B testing to see if I still hate all of them.

