Care About Time Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Care About Time

View 921 - 930 results for care about time comic strips. Discover the best "Care About Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #question, #smartphone, #internet browser, #slow, #old, #wrinkly, #dead, #google, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can research that question with my phone's browser." MUCH TIME PASSES The Boss says, "I found the Google!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #small groups, #argue, #alone, #talk to self, #annoyed, #empty chairs, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We'll break into small groups to discuss options." Dilbert says, "Why? Do you think we'll be smarter when we're in small groups?" The Boss says, "That way everyone gets more time to talk." Dilbert says, "According to your theory, the ideal group size would be one person talking to himself." The Boss says, "No, you also need the knowledge and perspective that extra people bring." Dilbert says, "That would argue for larger groups, not smaller ones." The Boss says, "Fine! Just break into whatever size groups you think make sense." Dilbert says, "I like your style, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "Thank you for noticing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #introduce, #ellen, #useless, #annoyed, #waste, #protein, #network, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "?And this is Ellen. She has no legitimate reason for attending this meeting." Dilbert says, "I assume she's just nosey, or maybe it's a newworking sort of thing." Dilbert says, "And this guy is a total waste of protein." Ellen says, "Maybe next time we should introduce ourselves."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mother, #son, #help, #rebate, #laptop, #tv, #ringtone, #scheme, #plan, #yell, #phone call, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Mom says, "Dilbert, could you help me fill out this rebate form the next time you visit?" Dilbert says, "Sure, mom." Mom says, "Also, my laptop keeps crashing." Dilbert says, "I'll take a look at it." Mom says, "My TV is acting up again too." Mom says, "And maybe you could show me how to change my ringtone." Dilbert says, "Do you really need all of that help?" Dilbert says, "Or is this an elaborate scheme to inoculate against me ever wanting to move back home?" Mom says, "We have a bad connection! What? What? What?" Mom thinks, "That should buy me another six months."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lose job, #merger, #worry, #good word, #recommendation, #drink coffee, #observation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I wouldn't worry about losing your job after the merger." Dilbert says, "Because you put in a good word for me?" The Boss says, "No, it's more of an observation that I don't worry about other people's jobs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeeting, #car rental, #small, #low self-esteem, #raise hand, #upset

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "If my low self-esteem seems low, that's because I drove here in a rented tuna can on wheels." Dilbert says, "It was such a bad automotive experience that I can't even pretend you should care what I have to say." Dilbert says, "I loathe myself and the company that pays me. Who's with me on this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #car rental, #reserve, #car insurance, #overpriced gas, #honest, #clown car, #ashtray

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I reserved a mid-sized sedan." Man says, "We don?t care what you reserved. We're in the business of selling car insurance and overpriced gas." Dilbert says, "That's refreshingly honest." Man says, "I can get you into a clown car or an ashtray on wheels."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work-life balance, #lazy, #annoyed, #clench teeth, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I need to get some of that work-life balance I keep hearing about." Wally says, "I thought about work all last night at home, so what do I do now?" Wally says, "It's not too late to get in on this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rfq, #resopnd, #computer, #discipline, #useless, #lazy, #front, #yoda, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Wally, can you respond to this RFQ by tomorrow?" Wally says, "That depends." Wally says, "I take a disciplined approach to allocation my limited resources." Wally says, "First, I'll need to evaluate all of the alternative uses for my time." Wally says, "If doing this RFQ thing comes out on top, then yes, I can do it." Man says, "When do you think you will know that?" Wally says, "Maybe next week. Unless something comes up." Man says, "So... you're useless." Wally says, "I don't see you getting much done right now either." Wally says, "Did you know that being disciplined is almost the same as being useless?" Dilbert says, "Yoda? Is that you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer help, #trap, #yell, #freak out, #hair stand up, #rant, #hug, #kill, #head in hands

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I need help with my computer." Dilbert says, "It's a trap!" Dilbert says, "If I touch your computer, you'll think that every future problem is caused by something I did." Dilbert says, "You'll tell everyone I ruined your computer!" Dilbert says, "I'll be obligated to solve every computer problem you have from this day on." Dilbert says, "My own projects will be left to wither as I show you for the ninethieth time how to select a new font." Dilbert says, "If I refuse to help, you'll tell my boss I'm not a team play." Tina says, "Do you need a hug?" Dilbert says, "Only if you can squeeze hard enough to kill me."