One You Of Ten Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for One You Of Ten

View 921 - 930 results for one you of ten comic strips. Discover the best "One You Of Ten" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #your age, #talking to youth, #pleasure of flesh, #not getting it, #sought victory

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "When I was your age, Asok, I too sought the thrill of victory and the pleasure of the flesh." "But after twenty years of not getting either one, I made convenience my new mistress." "You know why I like talking to you?" Asok: "Because I am a good listener?" "No, because you're here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #banned, #cell phones with cae, #copied, #digital form, #emailed anywhere, #evil director, #excellent idea, #new cell ohone, #rendered useless, #scanned, #scrap book

View Transcript

Transcript

"Catbert: evil director of human resources" "Excellent idea." "Cell phones with cameras are banned from the workplace." "Why?" "We don't want you taking pictures of proprietary information." "Most of our information is in digital form and can be e-mailed anywhere." "The rest is on paper that can be copied, scanned or tucked down one's trousers." "My new cell phone will be rendered useless for no good reason!" "And you aren't even banning regular cameras!!" This one goes in the scrapbook." "Snap"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #hazardous donuts, #free will, #illuison, #perceived path, #greatest pleasure, #rationalize, #deciosn, #mindless robot

View Transcript

Transcript

"You can't resist the shard-filled ultra-doughnuts even though you know the hazards." "Mmph" "Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure." "Now, rationalize your decision, you mindless pink robot!" "I'm only having one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #pleasure seeking orons, #shard filled donuts, #delicious, #40 thousand caloire

View Transcript

Transcript

"My company is selling gigantic, shard-filled doughnuts with forty thousand calories apiece." "It's based on Dogbert's theory that people are pleasure-seeking morons." "How does it taste?" "Delicious! I have one for you strapped to my car"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2004's comic on:


Tags #revenue, #people killed by product, #health risks, #kills people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our revenue is now double the number of people that our product has killed recently." Asok: "Our product costs $80. Are you saying that each one kills 40 people?" The Boss: "Our customers know the health risks, so technically they're killing themselves." Group: "So technically we aren't scum?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #unclear objectives, #complaint, #be clear, #call a tie, #selfish

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The number one complaint from employees is 'unclear objectives.' The Boss: My number one complaint is that it takes too much effort for me to be clear. Catbert: Lets call it a tie. The bossL what are they so selfish?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #issue, #misleading, #explination, #understand, #planning on listening

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tell me again what the issue is. Dilbert: do you want the simple but misleading explanation or the one you won't understand. The Boss: either one is good; I wasn't planning on listening,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #accounting, #expense figures, #base ten, #counting system, #full range, #odds and even, #hp printer ink, #finance troll

View Transcript

Transcript

"Accounting" "Can you explain these expense figures?" "It's a base ten accounting system with a full range of odd and even digits." "This isn't helping." "Tastes like hp printer ink... high gloss paper, four hours old."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2004's comic on:


Tags #still alive, #deadly plot, #own fault, #afford enetertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: You're still alive?? How can the sbe?? The Boss: What? Carol: Nothing! Never Mind! I don't know anything about a deadly plot! Its his own fault for not paying me enough to afford entertainment. Alice ; good one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #great 3 hour meeting, #strategic core issues, #gibberish

View Transcript

Transcript

It's been a great three-hour meeting but I have one question. Can a business - led project management process optimize our static core issues? Was that gibberish? I thought thats what we are doing.