Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 93
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1000 Results for Retail Business
View 921 - 930 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 05,
2013
Tags internet & world wide web, managers & supervisors, work ethic, facebook, work, home, unpaid work, business
Transcript
Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.
Saturday November 30,
2013
Tags complaining, cruelty, thinking, thought diversity, meeting, fad, business
Transcript
Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.
Tuesday November 26,
2013
Tags employees, laziness, shortcuts, lazy, business
Transcript
Wally: Experts say lazy employees are the best because they know how to find shortcuts. Boss: So you found a lot of shortcuts? Wally: Me/ No. I'm not lazy. I'm useless. Boss: Then why did you bring it up? Wally: Why wouldn't I? I"m not lazy.
Sunday November 24,
2013
Tags discussion, meetings, drink coffee, decisons, wise
Transcript
Boss: Let's drink coffee together while I say wise things about business. Wally: Nothing would make us happier. Dilbert: Whataya got? Boss: The only reason to have meetings is to make decisions. Wally: That sounded very wise. Dilbert: Totally. Boss: I know. I"m kind of proud of that one. Wally: So what happens when you get in a meeting and realize you don't have all of the information you need to make a decision? Boss: This works better if you two don't talk.
Saturday November 23,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, great leader, hires good people, no budget, micromanaging, half wits, afford, business
Transcript
Boss: A great leader hires good people and gives them the freedom to do their jobs. But I don't have the budget to hire good people, so I settle for micromanaging the half-wits I can afford. Catbert: Your boss was just in here saying the same thing.
Thursday November 21,
2013
Tags creativity, fear, insubordination, managers & supervisors, stay out of trouble, business
Transcript
Boss: How's your creativity coming along? Dilbert: I don't have any. Your management style makes me focus all of my energy on staying out of trouble. Boss: Your insubordination is unacceptable! Dilbert: And there it is.
Wednesday November 20,
2013
Tags boss, complaining, delegate, match employees, meeting, work ethic, apology, terrible job, business
Transcript
Wally: As I understand it, your job is to match employees with the right assignments. None of my projects turned out well, which means you did a terrible job. I'm not asking for an apology. Just follow your conscience.
Friday November 08,
2013
Tags gratitude, managers & supervisors, work ethic, great leadership, project, useful things, good work, greedy, business
Transcript
Boss: I'd like to thank myself for my great leadership on the project. Some of you did useful things, too, but only because I threatened to fire you if you didn't. So don't let it go to your heads. Catbert: I hope you didn't tell them they did good work. Boss: No, that makes them greedy.
Wednesday October 30,
2013
Tags eating & drinking, engineers, etiquette & ethics, crone, etiquette class, fork, teach things
Transcript
Boss: I hired a desiccated crone to teach an etiquette class to you engineering heathens. She'll help you stop eating your business lunches like kidnap victims. Crone: When do you use this fork? Alice: When I'm too lazy to make a shiv?
Tuesday October 29,
2013
Tags big business, discussion, clear expectations, revising them, faulty, inspiring
Transcript
Boss: The key to great leadership is setting clear expectations and periodically revising them as conditions change. Dilbert: If you plan to revise expectations, that tells me you know them to be faulty now. Boss: Maybe. Wally: Stop inspiring me so much.


