Single People Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Single People

View 921 - 930 results for single people comic strips. Discover the best "Single People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bearer, #bead news, #tragic, #find humor, #husband, #village people, #coming back, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm going into business as a professional bearer of bad news." Dogbert continues, "I'll try to find the humor that is inherent in every tragic situation." Dogbert stands on a woman's doorstep. The woman says, "I give up. What IS the difference between my husband and the seventies pop group 'Village People'?" Dogbert says, "They're coming back."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cloud of doom, #dangerous and sexy, #lighting strikes, #woman, #flirting with dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in a crowd of people at a party. The cloud of doom floats above his head. A woman says, "I notice you have a cloud of doom. I must admit it makes you seem dangerous and sexy." A bolt of lightning from the cloud strikes the woman. Dilbert says, "Sorry. That happens to everyone who gets near me." The woman replies, "No problem. I'm one of those women who never learn." Smoke rises from the woman and her clothes are charred.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human stupidity, #simple interface, #point at people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the backrest holding a device. Dogbert says, "My invention can detect human stupidity." Dogbert explains, "It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people." Dilbert asks, "Then what does it do?" Dogbert asks, "Why would it need to do anything else?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carl, #cubicle dwellers, #hard worker, #coffee cup, #walk around, #downsized, #co workers resntment, #snarky

View Transcript

Transcript

A man walks down the hall thinking, "I am Carl, the cubicle dwellers' friend." Carl thinks, "I travel from cubicle to cubicle to tell people how hard I'm working." Carl stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I am working so-o-o-o hard. Work, work, work. It's all I do." Dilbert asks, "How is that possible?" Dilbert continues, "You walk around all day with that coffee cup resting on your belly." Dilbert asks, "Does your job description say 'transport coffee cup on belly'?" Carl walks away thinking, "He's a terrible conversationalist." Dilbert asks, "How many miles per gallon do you get?" Alice asks Carl, "Hypothetically, if you were downsized, how would the cup get around?" Carl thinks, "What's wrong with these people?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #industry survey, #our industry, #hugh technology, #textile workers, #teen agersm dead people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We did an industry survey to see how your salaries compared to the average." The Boss continues, "We didn't get the numbers we hoped for, so we broadened the definition of 'our industry.'" Wally says, "I'm so happy to be in the industry of 'high technology, textile workers, teen-agers, and dead people.'" Dilbert says, "I feel overpaid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flashback, #first web browser, #prank, #people waiting aorund, #nothing happening

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Flashback to the invention of the first Web browser." Dogbert and the garbage man sit at a computer. The garbage man asks, "What should we call our prank, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Well, it's designed to make millions of people sit around waiting for nothing to happen . . ." The caption says, "A few years later." A skeleton sits at a computer with a spider web attached to him and the monitor. The man says, "Hey, I can almost see a recognizable blotch! This is awesome!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invented first web browser, #garbage man, #flashback, #computer, #waiting fro nothing, #out of hand, #blame on college kid, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk in the park. Dilbert is wearing a sweatshirt. Dilbert asks, "Are you telling me that YOU invented the first Web browser?" Dogbert replies, "Not alone. I worked with our garbage man." The caption says, "Flashback." Dogbert sits on a garbage can and tells the garbage man, "I wonder how long people would sit in front of a computer waiting for nothing." The garbage man replies, "Let's find out!" They sit at a computer. The garbage man asks, "What if this thing gets out of hand?" Dogbert replies, "We'll blame it on some drunken college kid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #calculated, #total time, #humans wait, #web pages, #information age, #big plot, #web is plot, #normal society

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the couch. Dilbert says, "I calculated the total time that humans have waited for Web pages to load . . ." Dilbert continues, "It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age." Dilbert says, "Sometimes I think the Web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society." Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, he's on to me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #first salesperson, #noah, #sell ark, #animals, #yacht, #sales babble, #disguise motives, #pioneered lame joke, #weather, #reach quota, #blaming engineering, #greatest innovation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the couch. Ratbert asks, "Who was the world's first salesperson, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Some people say it was a guy named Noah." The caption says, "Noah's last name was content." Noah says, "I have a big, curly stick and I don't even know why." The caption says, "His job was to sell an ark cruise to animals." Noah asks an opossum hanging in a tree, "Did I say ark? I meant yacht." The caption says, "He invented soemthing called sales-babble to disquise his motives." Noah says, "We'll partner to leverage our value-adds in a win-win proposition." A beaver looks confused. The caption says, "He pioneered the lame joke." Noah asks a giraffe, "How's the weather up there? Hee hee!" The caption says, "When he couldn't reach quota, he got creative." Noah hands a unicorn horn to a cat and says, "Strap this to your head and don't ask questions." The caption says, "But his greatest innovation he called 'blaming engineering.'" An angry bear tells Noah, "I can't find the honey spa." Noah thinks, "Think fast."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design product brochure, #criminal fraud, #marketing, #not worng, #conscience, #marketing epople, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert, "I want you to work with our marketing people to design a product brochure." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "Remember, what we do here might seem like criminal fraud but it's not. It's marketing!" Dilbert says, "Okay, as long as it's not wrong . . ." The man says, "Here's a jar to keep your conscience in. I'll put it in the closet with mine."