Treat Each Other Well Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Treat Each Other Well

View 921 - 930 results for treat each other well comic strips. Discover the best "Treat Each Other Well" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #$35 worth food, #15% tip, #penne pasta, #no log cabin, #build log cabin, #sitaution, #promise

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert looks at a menu in a restaurant and says, "Bring me $35 worth of food, including your 15% tip." The waitress reaches for his menu and asks, "If I bring you a penne pasta, will you promise not to build a log cabin on your plate?" Dilbert replies, "I can't promise that." The waitress says, "Well then, we have a situation here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new things to say, #fill airtime, #let other people talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand having coffee. Wally says, "I'm running out of new things to say." Wally continues, "I'll have to start repeating myself just to fill the airtime." Dilbert replies, "You could let other people talk." Wally continues, "So, anyway, I'm running out of new things to say."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contract states, #nick names, #mottos, #political preferences, #new contract, #fact, #skippy, #communist now

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table, each reviewing a piece of paper. Dogbert says, "Our contract clearly states that I can give you nicknames, mottos and political preferences." Dilbert sits with his arms folded over his chest and says, "I demand a new contract based on the fact that I didn't read this one before I signed it." Dogbert replies, "Too bad, Skippy. You're a communist now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ratio, #one in eight, #talking about work, #count as wrok

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand drinking coffee and talking. Wally asks, "What's the ratio of work to gabbing that is still considered 'work'?" Dilbert replies, "I'd have to say one-in-eight, maybe one-in-nine." Wally agrees, "Sounds right." Dilbert pauses and asks, "Does talking about work count as work?" Wally replies, "Well, I'm not enjoying it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #connections in war zones, #flights, #good rating, #humilation, #parkside strangler, #phone messages, #press conference, #secretary, #vague objectives, #complaining

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol sits across from the Boss, who says, "Carol, your overall performance rating is 'good.'" Carol screams, "AAAG! Good is bad! What did I do to deserve this humiliation?" The Boss replies, "Well, you gave me six hundred phone messages that said, 'It might have been Bob.'" Carol furiously replies, "You can't tell me that none of them were from a Bob." The Boss continues, "You arranged for all of my flights to have connections in war zones." Carol throws up her arms and says, "Excuse me for trying to save the company some money." The Boss says, "You held a press conference to announce that I was the Parkside Strangler." Later, Carol tells Wally, "And he refuses to take any responsibility for giving me vague objectives."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wireless fiber multifage, #wrong solution, #software bug, #budget hardware, #business case, #get funding, #it people approved vendor, #better idea

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss leans over Dilbert, points to the computer screen and says, "Why don't you try using a wireless fiber multifage?" Dilbert says, "Well, first of all, no such thing exists." Dilbert continues, "If it did exist, it would surely be the wrong solution for a software bug." Dilbert says, "And there's no extra money in our budget for hardware." Dilbert continues, "It would take six months to writer a business case and get funding." The boss yawns. Dilbert says, "Then our I.T. people would refuse to install it because it's not an approved vendor." The boss says, "Do you have a better idea?" Dilbert says, "Yes. I just fixed it." The boss says, "Do you think you can hold the fort while I go coach someone else?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trust, #integrity, #teamwork, #warm glow, #unconditional love, #heating vent, #under vent

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, at a confence table, says, "Our company values are trust, integrity and teamwork." Wally says, "For the first time in my life I feel the warm glow of unconditional love!" Dilbert, pointing up, says, "You're under a heating vent." Wally says, "Oh...well, that's good too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mandatory lunchtime meetings, #life work balance, #high five, #Catbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert and the boss are sitting at a table. Catbert says, "How about mandatory lunchtime meetings?" The boss says, "On the subject of Work-Life Balance!" The boss and Catbert high five each other. Wally and Dilbert peek over a cubicle divider at the the boss, whose hand is bandaged. Wally says, "Uh-oh. He's been high-fiving Catbert again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punish me, #manage annual business plan, #beg co workers, #information, #budget needs, #lies, #ignore you, #underscoring unimportance, #combine lies and guesses, #ballof data, #senior mangement, #budget decions, #magazine articles

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok is in the bosses office. Asok says, "Did you call me here to punish me?" The boss is sitting behind his desk. The boss says, "No, no, Asok. I want you to manage our annual business plan process." Asok says, "How so I do that?" The boss says, "First, you beg your co-workers for information about their budget needs." With a close-up on Asok, the boss continues off-frame "Half of them will give you lies. The other half will ignore you. Thus underscoring your unimportance." The boss continues, "Then you'll combine the lies and guesses into a worthless ball of data for senior management." Asok faces the boss as the boss says, "Then our CEO will make budget decisions based on magazine articles." Dilbert asks Asok, "How bad was the punishment?" Asok says, "Worse than I expected."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #highest priority, #totally worthless, #empowered, #make decison, #double edged sword

View Transcript

Transcript

Looking at a piece of paper, Dilbert asks The Boss, "Which assignment is the highest priority?" Dilbert asks The Boss, "Is it the totally worthless one or the other totally worthless one?" Dilbert says, "I hope I'm empowered to make that decision." The Boss says, "Hope is a double-edged sword."