Asok Comic Strips - Page 93
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Character
964 Results for Asok
View 921 - 930 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 19,
2014
Wally Does Ceo Job For 10%
Tags deception, money, wages, work ethic, annual pay, deal, split work, salary, work percentage, pass the buck
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO. Dogbert: I will give you 10% of my annual pay if you do 100% of my job for me. 10% of my pay as CEO is still a lot of money. Wally: I'll do it. I'll give you 10% of what he's paying me if you do 100% of his work plus mine. It's still a lot of money. Asok: I'm in!
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday February 10,
2015
Elon Musk Fears Ai
Tags artificial intelligence, etiquette & ethics, misanthropy, technology, elon musk, artificial intelligemce, humankind
Transcript
Asok: Elon Musk is worried that artificial intelligence will destroy mankind. Coworker: Why would you pay attention to him? What's he ever done? Asok: Stop making root for A.I. Coworker: And what planet is this "Elon" guy from, anyway?
Saturday February 14,
2015
Fifty Tips For Success
Tags Advice, career advice, obliviousness, secret, success, tech millionaire
Transcript
Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.
Saturday March 21,
2015
Dogbert The Product Designer
Tags annoy people, frustration, packaging, product design, sadism, software, torture, product code, engineering
Transcript
Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!
Wednesday January 18,
2017
The Illusion Of Work
Tags work ethic, laziness, deception
Transcript
Wally: It's easier to create the illusion of work than it is to do actual work. That's why I carry this red folder with me wherever I go. Man: Can you attend a design meeting at two? Wally: Ooh... I wish I could, but I'm behind on the red file.
Tuesday October 10,
2017
Logical Reasons For Learning To Negotiate
Tags negotiating, persuasion, catch-22, argument
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't persuade my boss to let me take a class on how to negotiate. Asok: Try giving him logical reasons. He'll respond to that. Dilbert: And then I would be able to negotiate for a higher salary. Boss: Pass.
Thursday March 29,
2018
Doing Nothing
Tags laziness, work ethic, logic
Transcript
Boss: Wally, do you remember that thing I asked you to do last month? Wally: No. Boss: Well, that's okay because something changed and I don't need it anymore. Wally: You're welcome. You'd be surprised how often doing nothing is as good as doing something.
Monday April 09,
2018
How Conspiracy Theories Start
Tags conspiracy, aspersions, guilt, innocence, blame
Transcript
Narrator: How conspiracy theories start. Alice: I can't find my spreadsheet files. Asok: I saw Dilbert going into the server room. Alice: That doesn't mean any... Asok: Carol said he was mad about something you said. Narrator: Continued...
Monday November 19,
2018
Sabotage The Plan
Tags boss, engineering, managers & supervisors, plan, sabatoge, incompetent
Transcript
Dilbert: We know our boss's plan is a bad idea, but it's our job to execute anyway. Wally: Maybe we should try to sabotage the plan by being incompetent. Dilbert: Since when do you need a reason to be incompetent? Wally: It's more of a "nice but not necessary" situation.
Wednesday January 02,
2019
Boxes With Names
Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, suspicious, layoff
Transcript
Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?


