Care About Time Comic Strips - Page 93

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bring to read, #book of tips, #new computer golf game, #reading book, #computer simulation, #almost sport, #non organic life form, #driving little cart

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Liz and Dilbert are seated beneath a tree reading books. She asks him, "What did you bring to read?" Dilbert responds, "It's a book of tips for my new computer golf game." Liz comments, "So . . . you're reading a book . . . about a computer simulation . . . of an activity that's ALMOST a sport . . ." Liz continues, "That's about as close as you can get to being a non-organic life form." Dilbert says, "This chapter is about driving the little cart."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #increased my visibility, #invisible, #management, #known by all

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I significantly increased by visibility at work today, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Yesterday I was invisible to my management. But today I am known by all." Dogbert comments, "You screwed up, huh?" Dilbert responds, "Ooh yeah. Big time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #accounting dept, #expense report, #soul, #soul check, #tak a seat

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Dilbert approaches a window labeled "Soul Check" where a clerk who looks like a demon is standing. He says to the clerk behind the window, "If it's okay, I'll hold onto my soul while I visit the accounting department." Dilbert is in the accounting department, talking to another demonlike clerk seated at a desk. Dilbert says, "I came to answer your questions about my expense report." The clerk replies, "Take a seat." Dilbert notices there are no seats, but only sharp, pointed stalagmites and stalactites in the cavelike room. He thinks to himself, "I don't like the way this is starting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #brittle writer, #thelma and louise, #bad drivers, #not offended, #three stooges, #all documentraies, #Men

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The caption reads, "Dogbert tweaks Tina the brittle tech writer." Dogbert asks Tina, "What do you think of the movie 'Thelma and Louise?'" Tina responds, "I know what you're trying to say. You think all women are bad drivers. That's really the point of the movie, isn't it??" The caption reads, "If you're not offended yet, tune in tomorrow." Dogbert asks Tina, "The 'Three Stooges?'" Tina cries, "Why are ALL of the documentaries about MEN??!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new inspirational psoter, #inspired, #see front, #win win

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The boss holds a poster in front of his face. He says to Alice, "My new inspirational poster is so effective that I decided to carry it with me." The Boss asks, "What do you think, Alice? Are you inspired?" Alice replies, "I'd really have to see the front . . ." The boss responds, "Hmm . . . I don't think there's a win-win scenario here." Alice rolls her eyes and walks away saying, "Tell me about it . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1995's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #quitting, #contract emplyee, #Advice, #sleep in doorways, #hunk of coradboard, #co workers, #food stamps, #not edible

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Alice sits at her desk with her back to Wally. Wally asks, "Alice, I'm thinking about quitting and becoming a contract employee. Do you have any advice?" Alice replies, "Sleep in doorways so it doesn't rain on you. The best shopping carts are at 'Lucky.' You can make an excellent sign with black marking pen and a hunk of cardboard." Wally walks away from Alice's cubicle and says, "I hate all of my co-workers." Alice says, "Despite the name, food stamps are NOT edible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #janitor expenses, #empty trash, #new employee fitness, #trashercise

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The Boss sits in front of Catbert's desk. The Boss asks, "I have to cut janitor expenses. Do you think I'll have any HR issues if I make employees empty their own trash?" Catbert answers, "We'll soften the bad news by simultaneously introducing a new employee fitness program . . ." Dilbert and Alice stand outside a row of cubicles. The janitor shouts, "Okay, everybody, it's time to trashercise!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #iso 900 audit, #documented job, #auditor asks, #engineer, #engineering

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "We're having an ISO 9000 audit this week." The Boss continues, "Take a look at your documented job descriptions and make sure that it's what you're doing if the auditor asks." Looking at his job description, Dilbert says, "According to this I'm some sort of engineer." Wally, looking at his, says, "As if we'd have time for that . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #original timeline, #12 months, #pitched in, #exact end date, #cold dark, #cheunk, #coal, #size, #forehead, #need flashlights, #sweaters, #nippy

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The Boss sits at a desk. Dilbert reads a printout and says, "Our original project time line was twelve months . . . But since you pitched in to help . . ." Dilbert continues, "I don't have an exact date, but it's roughly the same time that the sun becomes a cold dark chunk of coal the size of your forehead." The Boss says, "We'll need flashlights." Dilbert says, "And sweaters. It could get nippy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #co worker, #perfume is killing, #gas mask, #humor, #woman, #stank like hog, #cluless, #waiting compliments

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Dilbert hands Dogbert a gas mask and says, "Dogbert, your mission is to tell my co-worker that her perfume is killing us. Wear this gas mask." As Dilbert puts the mask on Dogbert, he says, "Use humor to ease the tension." Dogbert says, "Good idea." Wearing the mask, Dogbert stands in the woman's cubicle and says, "Did you hear the joke about the woman who stank like a hog rendering plant?" The woman says, "Three times today . . ."