Interrupted Boss Comic Strips - Page 93

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee & tea, late, coffee safety, whats real, trip, coffee in face

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Wally: Don't start. I'm late for the mandatory coffee safety training. I'd better run. Hunh! Boss: I can't tell what's real anymore.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags certification in puppetry, degree in engineering, diploma and bait shop, discrepancy, resume, ventriloquism

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Boss: One of our major investors found a discrepancy on your resume. You claim to have a degree in engineering, but in reality you have a certification in puppetry from a place called... Evelyn's Diploma and Bait Shop. CEO: The board has faith in our CEO.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flip house, foreclosed, mold, red flags, residential buildings, squatters, urine

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Boss: I bought a foreclosed house for $500. I plan to flip it for profit. Dilbert: Did the disclosures have any red flags? Boss: They claim there's a lot of mold and enexploded ordnance. But I don't see how either of those things could have survived the urine from the crack squatters.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags homes value, make money, schedules, office

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Carol: You only do the things I put on your schedule. And if we consider recent declines in your home's value, I make more money than you do. Boss: What's your point? Carol: It's as if you work for me now.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competitors, gadgets, motorcycle, smartphone, threat, worlds greatest

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Dilbert: I've created the world's greatest smartphone. Boss: Wow. This is so amazing that I'll need to kill you so our competitors never learn how to imitate it. Dilbert: Or you could give me a huge bonus. Boss: Okay, sure. I'll have a guy on a motorcycle attach it to your car.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, inventions, 3d network, motion sensors, sneezed, merged network, 15th of cisco

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In the near future Wally: I was manipulating a 3-D network model using my hand motion sensors. It was all good until I sneezed and accidentally merged my network design with my outlook calendar. Boss: When will you have that fixed? Wally: I should be done by... the 15th of Cisco.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, car, salesman, woman, old, steal, purse, drive, foot, boss, convince, first born, son, relatives

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Dogbert says to a customer, "I asked the boss to sell it at your price." Dogbert continues, "He told me to drive over your foot and steal your purse." Dogbert continues, "Buy maybe I can convince him to take your first-born son instead." The woman says, "He IS my first-born son!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, concern, terminal, radiation, air, bags, time, computer

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "We've addressed your concern about the potential safety hazard of computer terminal radiation." An air bag explodes out of a computer monitor and knocks Dilbert off his feet. Dilbert lies in a hole in the wall. A scientist with a clipboard says, "Air bags -- their time has come."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, floyed remora, twenty years, survives, attaching, employees

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The Boss: Dilbert, this is your new co-worker, Floyd Remora. Floyd has worked here for twenty years without developing any skills. He survives by attaching himself to other employees. Dilbert: Go ahead... Ask me how my day went.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, man, rectangles, heard, boss, geometry, major, good, thinking, geography, rectangle, states

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Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. The man next to him whispers, "What's your presentation going to be about?" Dilbert replies in a whisper, "Rectangles. We heard the Boss was a geometry major." The man says, "Good thinking. But I heard he was a geography major, not geometry." Dilbert points to a rectangle projected onto the wall and says, "Wyoming: one of the many rectangular states."