See Guys Die Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for See Guys Die

View 921 - 930 results for see guys die comic strips. Discover the best "See Guys Die" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert's History Of Lying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's History Of Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accusation, innocence, guilt, lying, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because of your history of lying about everything. Dilbert: I don't lie. I have a history of being falsely accused. Boss: I'll add that lie to your list. Dilbert: I don't see a path to victory here.

False Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
False Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, backhanded compliment, liar, idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Everyone at work thinks I'ma liar because of a false rumor. Dogbert: If it makes you feel any better, I know you aren't a liar. Dilbert: Thank you. That does help. Dogbert: I see you as more of an idiot. And you're welcome.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags prognosticate, prediction, projection, budget, blame

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are your financial projections available? Dilbert: Yes, because I can see into the future. Boss: No one can see into the future. Dilbert: Then why did you ask me if I can do it? Boss: It's your job to predict the outcome of your project. Dilbert: Why would you ask me to do something that no one can do? Boss: I don't need you to be accurate. I only need someone to blame when we go over budget. Dilbert: I saw that coming. Boss: No one like a braggart.

Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiating, catch-22, conference, training

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need your approval to take a class on negotiating. Boss: See if you can persuade me to approve it. Dilbert: I... don't know how to negotiate yet. Boss: That's the flaw in your plan.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiation, demand, haggle, prices, pricing, negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.

Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Barry Dingle Asks About Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags questioning, time, quick question

View Transcript

Transcript

Barry: I see you're off your phone. Can I pop in and ask a quick question? Boss: Yes, but only if it is quick. Barry: Oh, it will be. Boss: Okay, make it quick. Barry: What is blockchain and how will it influence our strategy across all product lines?

Brain Scan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Scan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brain, thinking, cognition, personality, abnormality, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My doctor says my laziness is caused by a brain abnormality. Dilbert: Doesn't everyone in the world have a unique brain that determines what they do? Boss: Is he right about that? Wally: I'd have to see his brain scan. Sounds like a tumor.

Boss Loses Wife And Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Loses Wife And Money  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags role model, aspiration, gambler, gambling, money, Win, Lose, success, quitter

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It's not easy being a professional gambler. I lost a million dollars and my wife in one week. But I don't want to be a quitter because I know you see me as a role model. Carol: My role model is your wife. Boss: You like quitters?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags network, optics, stupid company, Women, imagination, flirting, miscommunication, co workers, argument, women in management, employees, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: do you have lunch plans? Dilbert: Aren't you married? Carol: Im not asking you out on a date, Im trying to network. Dilbert: The optics wouldn't be good. Carol: How am I supposed to network in this stupid company? Dilbert: Maybe you could network with other women. Carol: This company has no women in management! Now I see the problem. Its people like you! Dilbert: Is it my imagination or was she flirting with me? Wally: I can't tell.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags headphones, borrow, ears, reluctant, smell forever

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: May I borrow your headphones while you're at lunch? Dilbert: would they touch your ears? WALLY: Yes. Dilbert:I reject your request. I don't want cooties on my headphones. Dilbert: Plus, you never return anything you borrow. Wally: Why would you care if my ears touch something you will neve see again? Lets meet halfway. I'll return the headphones, but they will smell of me forever. Dilbert: Then you might as well just keep them! It doesnt feel like he met me halfway.