Skip Staff Meeting Comic Strips - Page 93

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View 921 - 930 results for skip staff meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Skip Staff Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, snobbishness, random subordinate, own boats, touch people, ceo.meeting, rich, porr

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CEO: Hello, random subordinate that I am seeing in the hallway! I'm your CEO, but I'm still like a regular person. Asok: My name is Asok. CEO: I only touch people who own boats.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, slapped ceo, report says, success is following your instinct, being passionate, engaged, creative, meaningful, office meeting, literal meeting

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Catbert: This report says you slapped our CEO senseless after he said they key to success is following your instinct. Alice: I was following my instinct. I was also being passionate, engaged, and creative. Catbert: Apparently the things you say actually mean stuff. CEO: How was I to know!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, interrupting work, jargon, meeting with boss, not enough passion, stupid trendy, performance evaluation

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Boss: You don't show enough passion for your job. Dilbert: Stop interrupting my work with your stupid, trendy management jargon! Was that better or worse? I don't know how to tell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, non disclosure agreement, disbelief, wrong person, mighty judgy, so many secrets

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Man: I need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement before we start. Wally: We don't need that because no one believes a word I say anyway. Man: Maybe I'm meeting with the wrong person. Wally: You're mighty judgy for a guy with so many secrets.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags create itself, execute, executives, obliviousness, strategy, succeed, meeting, emplyees, discussion, business

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CEO: We can only succeed if we execute. Wally: How is that different from saying we can only succeed if we succeed. CEO: There's also the strategy. Wally: Does the strategy create itself?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conference call, deal, deception, employees, meeting, negotiate, telephones, business

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Conference Call Phone: Wally, can you take the lead on that? Wally: This is Ted. I just joined the call. I'll take care of that for Wally. Phone: Thanks, Ted. Wally: I'm crushing it today.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, investor, investors, pick up lines, start up idea, funding, saturday night drinks, date

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Alice: An angel investor agreed to meet with me about my start-up idea. Dilbert: You need to be careful because he might be... Alice: We're meeting for drinks at his house on Saturday night. Dilbert: I'm socially inept and even I know that sounds wrong. Alice: He keeps texting to say he can't wait to fund me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phones, distraction, frustration, multitasking, phone, smart phones, playing, karma, wishing death

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Dilbert: I would like to thank each of you for playing with your phones and not listening to a word I said all meeting. I hope karma is a real thing and frozen lavatory debris from airplanes kills each of you. Alice: What was he going on about? Wally: Beats me. I'm not much of a multitasker.

How You Should Have Engineered It

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How You Should Have Engineered It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, engineering, pessimism

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Dilbert: Let's skip to the part where I tell you how you should have engineered it instead of whatever you did. Coworker: You don't know what I did. Dilbert: I have five minutes to pretend that matters. Coworker: That's all I need.

Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident

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Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuses, lying, tardiness, traffic, vacuum, freak accident, vacuuming naked, bad traffic

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Carol: Dilbert called to say he'd be late for your meeting. He said something about having a freak accident while vacuuming naked. Dilbert: Did you tell him traffic was bad? Carol: More or less.