Took Desk Comic Strips - Page 93

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Took Desk

View 921 - 930 results for took desk comic strips. Discover the best "Took Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rat hole, #business plan, #pay huge investment fees, #money losing, #take your money, #push in hole

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is sitting outside behind a desk labeled, "Rat Hole." A businessman approaches holding a bag of money and asks, "May I throw money down the rat hole?" Dogbert replies, "Show me your business plan." Dogbert flips through the business plan and says, "You plan to pay huge investment banking fees to buy a low-margin, money-losing business..." Dogbert says, "For an extra fee, I'll push you in the hold and take your money." The businessman replies, "Oooh, sounds good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #burned down, #customer headquaters, #employee screws up, #performance reviews, #demo unit

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. He says to The Boss, "Don't give performance reviews on time." Catbert continues, "Wait until an employee screws up something big, then pounce!" A frazzled employee with torn clothes and smoking hair says to The Boss, "...I forgot to unplug the demo unit and it burned down our customer's headquarters." The Boss asks, "Do you have a minute?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer screen, #defective, #ignoring, #knock yourself out, #over rated, #vigorusly

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok asks The Boss, "The lower left part of my computer screen is defective. May I order a replacement?" The Boss replies, "That part of the screen is overrated. Try ignoring it." Asok asks, "May I vigorously bang my head on your desk?" The Boss replies, "Sure. Knock yourself out."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weasel of layoffs, #experience, #histiate, #defects, #list of defects

View Transcript

Transcript

The hooded weasel approaches Ted's desk and says, "Hell-o-o-o Ted. I'm the weasel of layoffs." The weasel of layoffs continues, "If there's any way I can make this experience more humiliating, don't hesitate to ask." Ted exclaims, "Why, why me??!!" The weasel responds. "I'll tape a list of defects to your old chair."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #moneybags magazine, #ask employees, #claims are true, #cover story

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is sitting at a desk. Bob the Dinosaur approaches and says, "The reporter from Moneybags Magazine is here." Dogbert responds, "Send him in." The reporter sits across from Dogbert. Dogbert asks, "Are you planning to ask my employees if my claims are true?" The reporter replies, "Nah, too lazy." Dogbert says, "I credit my success to the foot massages I personally give to each employee." The reporter takes notes and thinks to himself, "Cover story!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work out, #company gym, #jim the guard, #exhausting, #cow, #milk, #hamburgers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is in exercise clothes. She approaches Tina and says, "Come work out with me." Tina responds, "We don't have a company gym." Alice says, "Try having a conversation with Jim the Security Guard: It's totally exhausting!" Alice is at the security desk. Jim finishes, "... But a cow is not entirely full of milk; some of it is hamburgers!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #award, #family haters, #association, #anti family practice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. He opens an envelope and says, "I got an award!" The Boss reads, 'The 'Family-Haters Association' is proud to give you this award for your anti-family practices.'" The Boss hangs the award on his wall and thinks, "I hope no one reads it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil hr director, #references, #ex emplyees, #mazy loron, #rhyme

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits at his desk. The phone rings and Catbert thinks, "Evil." Catbert says into the telephone, "I'm sorry, I can't give references for ex- employees." Catbert continues, "But if I did, it would rhyme with 'mazy loron.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #furniture psychic, #old chair, #passed

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Furniture Psychic. Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk wearing a magician's hat. Dogbert says, "Your old chair has passed to the other side." Dogbert continues, "He says you'll know what this means: 'Squeak, squeak." The Boss cries and says, "Yes." Dogbert says, "Your desk says, 'Thanks for the gum.'" The Boss sobs, "I need closure!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actively isleads, #hypocrite, #marketing, #table, #talk to furniture, #tell people, #you mislead cutsomers, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is standing on a desk, still in his magician's hat. Dilbert says, "You have to stop telling people that you can talk to furniture. It's not right." Dogbert replies, "You work for a company that actively misleads customers. How's that different?" Dilbert says, "We call it marketing, and we don't wear hats." Dogbert responds, "The table says you're a hypocrite."