With All Due Respect Comic Strips - Page 93
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Share October 11, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a castle door labeled "King Dogbert." Dilbert thinks, "I've got to convince him to resign." An Elbonian guard holds Dilbert by the arm and says to Dogbert, "I found him lurking, sire. The usual punishment?" Dilbert says, "Dogbert!" Dogbert, who is wearing a miter, says, "Dilbert!" Dilbert asks, "What is the usual punishment?" Dogbert replies, "A blind date with 'Edna the Loneliest Hun.'"
Share November 03, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a conference table with several people. The man next to Dilbert says, "My project is a whole new paradigm." Dilbert asks, "What's a paradigm?" The man replies, "Heh-heh . . . 'What's a paradigm' . . . Funny." Dilbert says, "Seriously, what is it?" The man replies, "You know . . . Paradigm, paradigmish . . ." The man continues, "As in 'this project is a paradigm.'" The man says, "But enough about my project . . . Tell us about your project." Dilbert says, "It's a paradigm." Another man says, "My project is a paradigm too." Dilbert whispers to the man sitting next to him, "They bought it."
Share November 10, 1991's comic on:
Tags #Dogbert, #author, #book, #signing, #autograph, #copy, #bobby mcnewton, #child star, #sixties, #leave it to beaver, #leveraging, #fame, #promote, #recipe, #walnuts, #milk, #pork, #pig, #corpse, #ghost writer
Dogbert walks by a bookstore. A sign in the window says, "Book signing today." A man at a table asks, "Would you like an autographed copy?" Dogbert asks, "Who are you?" The author replies, "I'm Bobby McNewton, child-star from the Sixties. I once had a speaking part on 'Leave it to Beaver.'" Bobby continues, "I'm leveraging my fame to promote my recipe book." The book is titled "Bobby McNewton's Cooking With Walnuts." Dogbert opens the book and reads, "'Walnuts and Milk: Crush walnuts on table. Pour milk on walnuts. Serve cold.'" Dogbert reads, "'Walnuts and Pork: Kill a pig. Cook dead pig. Sprinkle walnuts on pig's corpse.'" Bobby says, "I used a ghost writer." Dogbert asks, "Was he a ghost before he ate your food?"
Share November 24, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the sidewalk. Dilbert points ahead of them and says, "Look, Dogbert - a wallet." Dilbert bends down, picks up the wallet and says, "It's full of money." Dogbert shouts, "We're rich!!" Dilbert says, "We must return it to its owner." Dogbert shouts, "We're honest!" Dilbert says, "His business card says 'Sam Grouper, ruthless criminal.'" Dilbert says, "Let's hope 'ruthless' means he divorced his wife named Ruth." The criminal answers his door with a gun in his hand. Dilbert says, "Mr. Grouper, we found your wallet. No reward is expected." Sam points the weapon at Dilbert and says, "Hand it over. Give me your wallet too, then slap yourselves around and scram." Dilbert's glasses are bent and his clothes are disheveled. Dogbert holds his hands up and says, "We're morons!"
Share December 15, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert sits on his pillow. Dilbert enters the room holding a dust mop. He tells Dogbert, "I'm going to dust." Dogbert's ears fly up. Dogbert runs out of the room. Dilbert dusts a table. Dilbert dusts a lamp. Clouds of dust begin to rise. Dilbert dusts a picture and the dust clouds get bigger. A cloud of dust fills the room. Dilbert thinks, "I'm starting to think there's a trick to this." Dilbert sits in his chair covered with dirt. Dogbert asks, "Did your mother teach you to dust that way?" Dilbert replies, "We didn't call her the 'Grey Fox' because of her clever brownie recipe."
Share January 05, 1992's comic on:
Tags #Dogbert, #Entertainment, #thanks, #babysit, #doggie bert, #bret, #impressionable, #years, #innocent, #adult, #nonsense, #parents, #space, #aliens, #eat, #slaughter, #house, #kindergarten, #change, #probably
A man and woman say to Dogbert, "Thanks for agreeing to baby-sit, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "No sweat." A baby says, "Doggie-Bert!" Dogbert says, "Sit down, Bret." Dogbert and the infant sit on the floor. Dogbert says, "You're in your most innocent and impressionable years." Dogbert continues, "As an adult, it is my duty to fill your sponge-like brain with incredible nonsense for my own entertainment." Dogbert continues, "Your parents are really space aliens." The baby looks frightened. Dogbert continues, "They're just fattening you up so they can eat you!" Dogbert continues, "The slaughterhouse is a place they call kindergarten!!" The father hands Dogbert his money and says, "Thanks, Dogbert. Did you change him?" Dogbert replies, "Probably."
Share January 19, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert and his uncle sit at a table eating dinner. Dilbert says, "Uncle Ned, can we see your hunting trophies after dinner?" Dilbert looks at a mounted bear head and says, "Oooh . . ." Ned says, "I bagged this one at the zoo." Dilbert says, "The zoo? That's illegal." Ned replies, "No wonder everybody got so excited." Ned shows Dilbert some other plaques and says, "These are some doves I killed with the help of my loyal dog, Rusty." They walk past a mounted dog and Ned says, "That's Rusty. We ran out of doves . . ." They look at the heads of a man, woman and cat. Ned says, "These were my neighbors - Florence, Dave and Muffin." Dilbert carries Dogbert under his arm and says, "Hey, look at the time! Got to run!" Ned asks, "Don't you want to see my 'Hall-O'-Postal Employees'?" Dilbert and Dogbert leave the house. Dilbert says, "New rule: Find out their hobbies before you eat their pot roast." Dogbert says, "We should have stayed for the 'Hall-O'-Postal Employees.'"
Share November 22, 1993's comic on:
Carol: I sit innocently in my low-wall clerical style cubicle. Man: One copy, no staple. Carol: Men with Ivy-league degrees walk past the copier and ask me to make copies. I am a secretary with a crossbow.
Share November 25, 1993's comic on:
Share January 01, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a table with Tina who is growling. Dogbert says, "A while back I asked for opinions about this new character, 'Tina the Brittle Tech Writer.'" Dogbert presents the results, "Most people, including nearly all the self-described feminists, said keep her. But there were many requests to add 'non-stereotypical' female characters for balance." Dogbert points at a muscular woman with a shaved head and says, "In the interest of balance I give you 'Antina.'" Antina says, "Is anybody up for some math?"