Women Dont Comic Strips - Page 93

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #reduce turnover, #your kids, #sake of exercise

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Dilbert, the boss and Asok are sitting at a table with notes in front them and the boss says, "I'll reduce turnover by showing I care about you." The boss looks at Asok and says, "Tell me about your kids, Asok." He replies, "I don't have any." The boss says, "Let's say you do for the sake of this excercise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dilbert and mother, #watching, #web cam, #not working hard, #fire wall, #using mail server

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer when the phone rings. Dilbert's mom is on the other end. She is sitting in a chair with an open laptop with Dilbert's face on the screen. She says, "I've been watching you through your web cam and I don't think you're working hard enough." (With the emphasis on "much"...) She says, "Well, there wasn't much of a fire wall. I'm using your mail server to spam my mahjongg club."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #turnaround ceo, #value based, #management, #perspective, #training dept, #exceeds cost

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A voice is asking the new CEO, who looks like the devil, "...From a value-based management perspective it's clear..." The voice is Tim who continues, "...That the training department's return exceeds the cost of capital... So please don't kill me." As Tim, barely in the panel is clearly off his feet, being tossed around, the boss says to Dilbert, "Okay, you're next... and begging doesn't work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #the turnaround ceo, #work of 10 people, #strategic planning, #traitorous mole

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The Turnaround CEO Dilbert is standing in front of the CEO's desk saying, "If you let me keep my job, I'll do the work of ten people." The CEO looks like the devil. Dilbert goes on, "Specifically, it would be the ten people in our strategic planning group." Dilbert says, "They don't do much." The CEO replies, "I'd like you to be my traitorous mole."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #astrol projection, #try at meeting, #switch chairs

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Wally is holding up a book and walking with Dilbert and says: "I found a book about astral projection." Wally walks into a meeting room, followed by Dilbert, and says:"I'm gonna try this during our meeting." Wally is sitting at the meeting between two women grinding his teeth and hitting his fists against the table. One of the women says: "Does anyone want to switch chairs?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #market research data, #mouse, #footsteps

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Wally is sitting at his computer and the boss who is sitting behind him says: "Wally, don't do anything until we get the market research data." The boss walks away. Wally thinks: "No longer must I put my hand on the mouse when I hear footsteps. Yes!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #concludes one hour course, #pick up diploma, #laser printer, #fill in name, #prestigious, #dont discuss

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Dogbert stands with his back to a blackboard where the following is written: "Be Boring, $=Good, Remember to embezzle!" Dogbert says while holding the pointer in his hand: "This concludes your one-hour executive MBA course." Dogbert points out to a printer with his pointer and says: "On your way out, pick up a diploma from the laser printer and fill in your name." Dogbert says: "Remember, your degree can be prestigious if none of you ever discuss what happened here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 1998's comic on:


Tags #posterior, #fat ass, #chair, #prnak, #lied boss, #like goldfish, #big charis, #big ass

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Alice stands in front of the Boss' desk and says, "My posterior is growing to fit the size of my chair." The Boss asks, "Is that possible?" Alice replies, "Posteriors are like goldfish. They grow to the limit of their environment." The Boss replies, "That's ridiculous. I have the biggest chair. That would mean..." Alice quickly says, "Forget I brought it up. Well, back to work." Wally and Dilbert stand looking over the wall of a cubicle. Alice walks by and Dilbert asks, "Mission report?" Alice replies, "Success." Alice rubs her hands together and says, "The glue on his chair should be set by now." The Boss walks down the hall with his desk chair stuck to him. He thinks, "I guess this is why goldfishes don't use chairs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #performance review, #met objectives, #packed schedule, #urgent, #handle this, #sample of handwriting

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Caption reads: "Performance Review." The Boss says, "Let's see how many of your objectives you met." Dilbert asks, "What objectives?" The Boss looks at a piece of pape and says, "Didn't you know you had objectives?" Dilbert replies, "I don't see how I would have had time to work on objectives." Dilbert continues, "My schedule was packed." The Boss asks, "Doing what?" Dilbert replies, "Every morning you leave things on my chair with a sign that says, 'Urgent: Handle this.'" The Boss replies, "No I don't." Dilbert walks into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, can I see a sample of your handwriting?" Wally thinks, "Uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #moon landing, #weekend, #send a shuttle, #male engineers, #status

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woman: NASA put all the women who love engineers on the moon. They say its an important experiment, Tina: Every weekend they send a shuttle full of male NASA engineers to check on our status. Man: Uh - oh we have company,