New Hobby Comic Strips - Page 94

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1994's comic on:


Tags #new strategy, #tech support, #that customers, #user manual, #defective products

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The Boss: Our new strategy is to make defective products and charge for technical support. Heh- heh ...our user manual is totally incomprehensible. we didn't plan it that way - we were lucky, Dilbert: Im so proud to be here. The Boss: It all came together when I realized I hate our customers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #pyramid scam, #marketing breakthrough, #new recruit, #amazingly wealthy, #being your own boss, #one thousand dollars, #the world pays, #money, #scam

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"Remember, it's not a pyramid scam, it's a marketing breakthrough!" "The beauty of it is a new recruit is born every minute." "Are we guaranteed to become amazingly wealthy?" "While being our own boss?" "Yes, unless you're lazy or ethical." "Each person you recruit pays you one thousand dollars. The recruits get their own recruits and charge them TWO thousand, and so on." "Eventually, every person on Earth will be giving you money. And that adds up." "You can't argue with the math." "I feel like we're a big family." "The best part is that every person on Earth will get rich!" "Actually, the last recruit kinda gets it in the shorts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bungee boss, #incoming, #made a difference, #mentor, #sprong!, #bouncing bungee

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The Boss: We'll be getting a new "Bungee Boss" sometime today. Hi - Im -your- new- boss- lets- change- every- thing- beef- I- get- reassigned- pops- too- late- goodbye. sproing wally: He was like a mentor to me. Dilbert: I think he made a difference. The Boss: Incoming!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dignity enhancement, #help employees, #less money, #hire someone, #co workers

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The Boss: Sue was hired to run our new dignity enhancement program. Her charter is to help the employees feel good about themselves while they work harder for less money. Dilbert: How can we afford to hire somebody new? The Boss: Do you remember those cow orders you used to have?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 1994's comic on:


Tags #proposal, #alternatives, #lobby government, #tax breaks, #idiot run businesses, #quit job, #new career, #handing out towels, #cow chips, #bull shit

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The boss: Your proposal doesn't address the alternatives. Dilbert: There aren't any reasonable alternatives. The boss: There are always alternatives! Give me alternatives!! No wonder nothing gets done around here - not enough alternatives. typing: "we could lobby the government to give tax breaks to all idiot run businesses" "I could quit this stupid job and start a new career handing out towels at the gym" "Or we could use cow chips instead of microchips and save millions" The Boss: whats a cow chip? Dilbert: This job would be an example.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #difference, #entire day, #hamster on wheel, #new assignements, #finish work, #explaining

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Dilbert: I spent the entire day getting new assignments which left no time to actually work on anything. Dilbert: Tomorrow I'll spend the entire day explaining why I didn't finish yesterdays work. Sometimes I don't know the difference between me and hamster on a wheel. Dogbert: Hamsters dont depress me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #new engineer, #sarcasm, #shows around, #telephone, #cubicle, #hallway, #every foot staep, #bad points, #office tour, #crazy, #bad conditions, #employement

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The Boss: "Laurie's our new engineer. Show her the ropes, Dilbert." "I meant figuratively." Dilbert: "This is your anti-productivity pod." "It's equipped with a little device that rings anytime you try to concentrate." "The top is open so none of the background noise is inadvertently muffled." "And you're on the main aisle, so you'll be haunted every minute by footsteps behind you. Step...step...step." The Boss: "We need to talk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ad agency, #dogberts, #new slogan, #essence, #captures, #we abuse employees, #pass savings, #squalid cubicles, #wear that shirt

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Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Ive developed a new slogan that captures the essence of those company. "we abuse our employess and pass the savings to you" We'll film actual employees in their squalid cubicles. The boss: Wear that shirt

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #boos, #delegate work, #mark compalins, #throws a fit, #complain, #behind back, #boss retreats

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The Boss: We've hired the Dogbert Ad Agency to give our company a new image. Mark: AAAGH! MARK: Sure, Sure...I"ll do it, but I'll have this expression the whole time. and just maybe I"ll complain behind your back!! The Boss: Never mind, I'll do it myself. Oh, right, keep the good assignment,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dimly lit cucbicle, #carpal tunnel, #crippled, #last job, #coal miner, #gas explosion, #new cubcile, #canary

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"I guess it's time to go back to my dimly lit cubicle and see if my carpal tunnel has crippled me yet." "This is a lot like my last job as a coal miner, but without the threat of a gas explosion." "I'm moving you to a new cubicle over by Wally." "Better get a canary."