Accept Some Resposibility Comic Strips - Page 94

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

977 Results for Accept Some Resposibility

View 931 - 940 results for accept some resposibility comic strips. Discover the best "Accept Some Resposibility" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

Never Stop Dreaming

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Never Stop Dreaming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Dilbert, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i printed out some inspirational slogans to motivate you. the boss: the first one is "never stop dreaming." wally: zzzz-zzzz.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #rules, #quotes, #chaos, #purchasing

View Transcript

Transcript

purchasing manager: i can't approve this purchase without three vendor quotes. dilbert: only two companies in the world make this sort of product. purchasing manager: if i bend the rules for you, everyone will want me to bend the rules. dilbert: maybe you could only bend the rules when it makes complete sense to do so. purchasing manager: that would be chaos. Purchasing manager: everyone thinks they have a good reason to bend the rules. dilbert: is the real problem here that you were bullied in school, and you use this job for some sort of sick revenge. purchasing manager: now you need four vendor quotes.

Doctor Appointment

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doctor Appointment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #doctor, #office, #office workers, #medical advice, #essential oil, #attitude, #kava

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: i have a doctor's appointment today. the boss: doctor? bah! the boss: all you need are some essential oils and a supplement or two. carol: has anyone ever survived your medical advice? the boss: some kava could fix your attitude problem.

The Opinionated Old Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Opinionated Old Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #internet & world wide web, #old, #Opinion

View Transcript

Transcript

the opinionated old guy: that idea will never work! unless you know some kind of "magic" that sends data through the air. dilbert: i call it wi-fi. opinionated old guy: pffft! no one wants that.

Toxic Employee And Tina

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee And Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

toxic employee: hi. i'm the new toxic employee. i sense you don't have enough problems, so i came to give you some. tina: ha! i'm too smart to fall for that. toxic employee: that's what i told dilbert, but he smirked.

Skipping Teambuilding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Skipping Teambuilding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #celebration, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #parties, #sarcasm, #team

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Can I skip the team-building celebration to get some work done? Boss: No, because I'm trying to change the culture. Alice: To what? Angry and unproductive? Boss: Trust the cake.

Bad News I Can't Tell You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad News I Can't Tell You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #employees, #frustrated, #news, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I have bad news. Dilbert: What is it? Carol: I'll tell you later. Dilbert: Why can't you tell me now? Carol: I don't want to start and then get interrupted if someone comes in the room. Dilbert: How bad is the news? Carol: It's bad. Very bad. Dilbert: You're making me crazy, how can I relax knowing some terrible news is out there? Don't tell me you have bad news if you aren't going to tell me what it is!!! Wally: What did I miss? Dilbert: I don't know!

Dilbert Gets A Mentor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Gets A Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #Advice, #mentor, #productivity, #operations, #vice president, #pressure, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i heard you asked our v.p. of operations to be your mentor. why didn't you tell me you needed some mentoring? i'm full of useful advice. dilbert: such as? boss: well... not you're putting me on the spot. it's hard to think of advice while you're pressuring me. maybe you could give me a scenario, and then i'll tell you what to do. dilbert: okay, suppose my boss is ruining my productivity by yammering about his great advice. what can i do? boss: that feels like a trick question. dilbert: our v.p. of operations could answer it.

Imperfect Decisions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Imperfect Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #project, #vacation, #decision, #uninformed, #perfect, #good, #stupid, #smart, #enemy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: while you were on vacation, we made some decisions about your project. dilbert: those would be uninformed decisions if you made them without me. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of good dilbert: can i let stupid be the enemy of smart?