Bad Job Market Comic Strips - Page 94

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Bad Job Market

View 931 - 940 results for bad job market comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Job Market" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contract states, #nick names, #mottos, #political preferences, #new contract, #fact, #skippy, #communist now

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table, each reviewing a piece of paper. Dogbert says, "Our contract clearly states that I can give you nicknames, mottos and political preferences." Dilbert sits with his arms folded over his chest and says, "I demand a new contract based on the fact that I didn't read this one before I signed it." Dogbert replies, "Too bad, Skippy. You're a communist now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #travel request, #apporved, #otherwise, #being useless, #olympic sport

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches the Boss. He asks, "Did you look at my travel request?" The Boss replies, "Not yet." The Boss continues, "Assume it's approved unless I tell you otherwise." Dilbert replies, "It's too bad that being useless isn't an Olympic sport."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #start on monday, #service industry, #space -time, #contiuum, #calendar, #no mondays

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at a table reviewing a sheet of paper with a contractor. The contractor says, "Here's my estimate. I'll start the job on Monday." The contractor continues, "When I say 'Monday,' I'm referring to the service industry's space-time continuum." The contractor holds out a calendar and says, "I'm not supposed to show you this, but check out the calendar." Dilbert looks and says, "No Mondays."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #donut head, #face, #hole, #hole in head, #man is brief, #no face, #real no brainer, #resume, #blank paper

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at his desk with a piece of paper in front of him and says, "Frankly, the job is a real no-brainer." A person with a huge hole in their head sits in front of the desk as the Boss continues, "Your resume is a blank piece of paper. I like a man who can be brief." The man with the hole in his head sits between Wally and Dilbert. Wally is eating a donut and coffee. Wally turns to the man and says, "You're ruining my donut experience."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #perfromance, #exceeds expectations, #underachievers, #extra money, #go get money

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice enters The Boss' office and says, "My performance exceeds expectations but my pay is based on market averages." Alice continues, "I figure some underachievers are getting the extra money that I earn." Alice continues, "Give me their names so I can go get my money." The Boss replies, "It's Wally."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assistant manager, #clone me, #boss, #came to you, #brilliant employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need a brilliant employee to be my assistant manager." The Boss continues, "That's why I came to you." Dilbert turns and says, "That's the first nice thing..." The Boss interrupts him, "Your job is to clone me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting trolls, #explination, #budget season, #spit on data, #95% spit, #finance trolls, #underground, #beneath the earth

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Accounting Trolls. Dilbert hands the trolls a piece of paper and says, "I need an explanation for these numbers." A troll responds, "This is budget season so I will spit on your data and send you away." Dilbert says, "That doesn't sound too bad." While one troll accumulates his spit, the other replies, "Our bodies are 95% made of spit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fired from restuarant, #carried hot soup, #spray doning room, #soup, #blame soup

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "I got fired from my job at the restaurant." Dilbert continues, "Every time I carried hot soup my thumb would slip in and I'd scream and spray the whole dining room." Dilbert continues, "I blame the soup." Dogbert replies, "Stupid soup."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bugs, #database, #not to learn, #put bugs back in, #strong desire, #apathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok hands a piece of paper to The Boss. Asok says, "I worked all weekend to get the bugs out of the database." The Boss replies, "But now the data makes us look bad. Put back the bugs." Asok says to Wally, "Can you teach me to be apathetic like you?" Wally responds, "Only if you have a strong desire not to learn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticize employees, #recreational criticising, #read email, #alice needs to talk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss thinks, "I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I'll feel better if I criticize some employees." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "I'm doing some recreational criticizing. What do you have for me?" Dilbert responds, "E-mail." The Boss yells, "You read e-mail like a chimp!" Dilbert replies, "Alice said she needs to talk to you."