Hard Working Employee Comic Strips - Page 94

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View 931 - 940 results for hard working employee comic strips. Discover the best "Hard Working Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #death & dying, #negotiating, #work ethic, #raise, #workload, #incentive, #work harder, #disgruntled, #no meaning, #dreams lie broken

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Boss: If you finish your project in twelve months, I'll give you a five percent raise. Dilbert: I would gladly give up five percent of my future pay to avoid a doubling of my workload. Boss: You don't understand. I'm giving you an incentive to work harder. Dilbert: No, I'm pretty sure you're charging me five percent of my future pay to sit here and feel disgruntled. And it's working. I hate you more than ever and I no longer find meaning in my work My dreams lie broken and empty beneath the ruins of my optimism. Boss: I can't tell if your negotiating or dying. Dilbert: It's a little of both.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #build hyperloop, #connect every city, #fast transportaion, #vision, #pat back

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CEO: Build a hyperloop to connect every major city in the world with super-fast transportation. The vision was the hard part. You idiots can work on the details. Someone pat me on the back. I can't reach it with my T-rex arms.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #computer programmers, #code, #writing code, #conspiracy theories

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Boss: I'd like to recognize Ted for writing his part of the code in just two days. Dilbert: How many days was it supposed to take? Boss: At least a week, I would think. Dilbert: Why would you think that? Boss: Because it was so hard to do. Dilbert: Who told you it was hard? Boss: Ted did. Dilbert: All he did was delete some lines from existing code and recompile it. Ted: It was hard. Boss: See! Wally: Do you have any more crazy conspiracy theories?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #facial expression, #fear, #scare away the weak, #too busy, #too talk, #i said no

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Alice: I'm working on a new facial expression to scare away the weak. Want to see it? Dilbert: No. Gaaa!!! Alice: That one means I'm too busy to talk. Dilbert: I said no! I said no! I said no!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #illness, #laziness, #sitting disease, #sit all day, #bad health, #safety more eimportant, #drink coffee instead

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Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #big business, #deception, #trolls, #annual budget, #mystery, #meeting, #monsters, #office, #conference table, #horns, #business

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Boss: I'd like you to meet the two trolls who create our annual budget. Dilbert: Why do we need two of them? Troll: Because it's hard to reach into your own... Boss: Whoa! It's better to keep some mystery.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #employees work harder, #caring managers, #sausage casing, #business

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Boss: According to studies, employees will work harder if they think their managers care about them. But that's hard for me because you're basically a sausage casing full of coffee and rotting organs. Dilbert: That must have stung. Wally: Less than you'd think.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #laziness, #managers & supervisors, #famous leaders, #copy, #16 hrs a day, #reading about industry, #leaders eat cake, #business

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Dogbert: I have studied the practices of famous leaders so you can copy them. First, work sixteen hours every day. Boss & CEO: Sixteen hours?? Dogbert: And in your spare time, you should be reading about your industry to stay current. Boss & CEO: Reading??? Dogbert: Oookay. This isn't working. Suppose I told you that famous leaders eat a lot of cake? That took a creepy turn.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #avarice, #Family, #personal items, #cubilces, #photos of kids

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Boss: Is that a picture of your kids? No personal items are allowed in cubicles! Employee: It's not personal. My kids are only in it for the money. Boss: It's more of a gray are than you'd think.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #terrorists, #weapons, #fleet small drones, #customers, #infidels, #design guy, #mullah john smith

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Boss: We won the bid to build a fleet of small drones for retail package delivery. I'm not sure why they call their customers infidels, but I doubt that's important. You'll be working with their design guy, who's name is Mullah John Smith.