Internal Job Comic Strips - Page 94

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

937 Results for Internal Job

View 931 - 937 results for internal job comic strips. Discover the best "Internal Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Judging By Looks

Thank you for voting.
Judging By Looks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #interview, #manager, #judge, #offensive, #social media, #nonesense

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.

Recreational Data

Thank you for voting.
Recreational Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2020's comic on:


Tags #buisness, #management, #managing, #cloud, #personal, #information, #laugh, #legal, #recreation

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: the best part about my new job managing the cloud is that i get to laugh at everyone's personal information. dilbert: you're not suppose to be looking at anyone's personal data. dogbert: i'm fairly sure it's legal if i only do it recreationally.

Social Distancing

Thank you for voting.
Social Distancing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #eighties, #health, #hug, #managers & supervisors, #practice, #social distancing, #virus, #coronavirus

View Transcript

Transcript

boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.

Emergency Project

Thank you for voting.
Emergency Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boring, #boss, #emergency, #excuses, #office workers, #technology, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any emergencies for me to work on? Boss: I do. Dilbert: Perfect! I needed an excuse to avoid working on the boring parts of my job. Boss: I also need your status report by end of day. Dilbert: I would totally do that if not for this darned emergency.

Boss Is White Supremacist

Thank you for voting.
Boss Is White Supremacist   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #complaint, #covid, #denial, #envy, #managers & supervisors, #members, #pandemic, #staff, #system, #white supremacist

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: members of your staff have complained that you are a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask: but...i'm not. catbert: that's not for you to decide. boss: who gets to decide? catbert: people who want your job. it's not a perfect system.

Empathy Sensor

Thank you for voting.
 Empathy Sensor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #empathy, #feelings, #office workers, #psychology, #sad, #sensor, #story, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina wearing face mask: you did not have sufficient empathy when i told you my sad story. dilbert wearing face mask: how could you possible measure my internal feelings of empathy? tina: i used my empathy sensor. dilbert: that's a stapler.

No Raise In Years

Thank you for voting.
No Raise In Years   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #job, #raise, #nine, #years, #face mask, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.