New Boss Comic Strips - Page 94
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1000 Results for New Boss
View 931 - 940 results for new boss comic strips. Discover the best "New Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 01,
2014
Tags work ethic, dark matter, universe, new excuse, a-b test, hidden dimensions
Transcript
Wally: The universe is full of dark matter, quantum strangeness, and hidden dimensions. In such a universe, can we really know whether or not I did my assignment? Dilbert: How'd the new excuse work out? Wally: It did well in the A-B test against "You never told me to do that."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday April 07,
2014
Tags anger, interrupting work, jargon, meeting with boss, not enough passion, stupid trendy, performance evaluation
Transcript
Boss: You don't show enough passion for your job. Dilbert: Stop interrupting my work with your stupid, trendy management jargon! Was that better or worse? I don't know how to tell.
Thursday April 10,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, temporary ceo, c level suite, employee realtions, boss, cubicle, insulting, receptionist, business
Transcript
Boss: The board named me temporary CEO. And guess who is coming with me to the C-level suite! Carol: It's me! Boss: No. And you're also a terrible guesser.
Saturday April 12,
2014
Tags cruelty, executives, work ethic, acting ceo, murder employees, start up, unprofitable, ridiculous jargon, wishful thinking, luck, show off, management fad
Transcript
CEO: I heard that while you were acting CEO you... murdered nine employees, bought an unprofitable start-up and embraced a new management fad that is nothing but ridiculous jargon and wishful thinking. No one likes a show-off. Boss: I swear it was just luck.
Friday April 18,
2014
Tags conversation, origin story, company, need, various things, clear, boss, request, office, request secretary, write up story, business
Transcript
Boss; Tina, I need you to write a company "Origin Story." All the cool companies have them. Tina: Why? Boss: Why? Well, for starters, we need it for various things and so on. I don't think I can be any clearer. Tina: I don't think you can, either.
Tuesday May 06,
2014
Tags charitable organizations, corporate charity, deception, no boss fooled, teaching interview techniques, trained umemployed, work ethic, job skill
Transcript
Wally: Last week, I did my corporate charity work by teaching unemployed people how to interview for jobs. Boss: Don't they also need job skills? Wally: Nah. I taught them how to look busy. Boss: No boss will be fooled by that. Wally: Do you believe I trained unemployed people last week?
Wednesday May 07,
2014
Tags correct data, incorrect data, interactions with boss, questioning, totally accurate, desk, computer, office, technology
Transcript
Boss: Are you sure the data you gave me is correct? Dilbert: I've been giving you incorrect data for years. This is the first time you've asked. Boss: What? Dilbert: I said the data is totally accurate.
Monday May 12,
2014
Tags frustration, vacations, work harder, no vacation, boss, time off, employee
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I take my vacation next week? Boss: Fine. Just work twice as hard this week to get everything done before you leave. Dilbert: In that case, I prefer not taking a vacation at all. Boss: It's starting to look as if nothing can make you happy.
Sunday May 25,
2014
Tags hypocrisy, employees, trusted advisor, dumb plan, boss, employee, saying no, business
Transcript
Boss: Experts say I need employees who can say no to me. I'd like you to be my trusted adviser, Wally, because you can criticize every idea I have. Wally: No. That's the dumbest plan I've ever heard. Boss: What? Wally: You heard me. Boss: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. Wally: You could thank me for saying no. Boss: Why does that sound right?!!!! Wally: You're welcome.
Monday May 19,
2014
Tags electronic mail, internet & world wide web, scams, enter bank acct, employee, boss
Transcript
WHY phishing scams keep working enter your bank account number. Dilbert: Scam. WAIT FOR IT enter your bank account number Alice: Scam. There it is Boss: Okey-dokey.