Take The Job Comic Strips - Page 94

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Take The Job

View 931 - 940 results for take the job comic strips. Discover the best "Take The Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Retirement Planning Seminar "I'll show you how to spend your golden years on the golf course." "Get a job caddying for people who have better jobs than you." "Never pay rent again, thanks to the patented Dogbert breathing tube for sand traps!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Did you ever come to work on Monday and realize that you forgot how to do your job? "Only a total moron would forget over the weekend how to do his job." "O-o-okay. I'm starting to remember who you two are."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, you're my new fire warden for the floor." "If there's a fire, your job is to roll around on it until it's out." "What if the whole floor is on fire?" "No one will be timing you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

The Land of Unrealistic Business Assumptions $ GOLD (Take Some) "Suddenly I feel as if anything is possible." "Hello! We're the consumers who have extraordinarily bad judgment!" "I need more than three of you." "The hole's a thousand miles deep. The others thought it would be a good idea to come early." "Ow! Ow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on work-life balance." "First, review this list of your priorities." Family Job Exercise Vacation Must-Dos Medical Eating Hygiene Sleep Romance Holidays "You have time for three things. Work and holidays are two. You get to pick the third."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trigger automatic promotion, #be that employee, #part of team, #not special

View Transcript

Transcript

I need to have one more direct report and it will trigger an automatic promotion for me. "Your job is to be that employee." "How's it feel to be part of the team?" "Not as special as I'd hoped."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project plan, #stupidity, #leaping off page, #simple, #won't work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally refuse to support my project plan. Will you take a look at it? "GAAA!!! The stupidity is leaping off the page and burrowing into my brain!!!" "Does anyone around here known how to say a simple 'This won't work'?" gurgle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist "I need a hundred billion to build an ocean city on barges." "Take my money!!! Take it, take it, take it!" "Do I get stock or something?" "How about an insincere wag?" Insincere wag! $ $

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Unemployed "No problem. I'll just go online and find a great job." "Let's see...This one looks good. 'No experience needed..." "...Must be willing to relocate, then be put into a huge blender and packed as a condiment.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Job Interview "We need someone who can solve the biggest engineering problem we have ever encountered." "Just distribute the power supply across both functions and double the fan size." "Thanks. If I need anything else, I'll interview you again."