Asok Comic Strips - Page 94

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964 Results for Asok

View 931 - 940 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wise Person Said

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Wise Person Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, wise, person, boil, stick, egg, Advice, proverb, threat, overrate

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asok: a wise person once said you can't boil an egg with a stick. wally: no, but i can threaten you with a stick unless you boil an egg for me. asok: why didn't the wise person think of that? wally: he sounds overrated

Asok Confidence

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Asok Confidence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asok, business, co-workers, confidence, enough, fake, room, test

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ask: you know what's wrong with this room? not enough of me in it. that's what. dilbert: are you testing your fake confidence? asok: is it working?

Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support

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Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, train, tech support, problem, reboot, computer, problem solving, genius

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boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!

Asok Meditates

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Asok Meditates  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee, psychology, sarcasm, business, meditation, think, work, co-worker, technology, enlightenment

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asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.

Mumble Ventriloquists

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Mumble Ventriloquists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, boss, meetings, office workers, sarcasm, dumb

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Voice: That is a dumb idea, you pointy-haired fool. Boss: Who mumbled that? I can't tell with your face masks. Voice: Meetings just got a lot more fun. Boss: Who is saying that???

Smartphones Spread Viruses

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Smartphones Spread Viruses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, hygiene, science, contagion, pandemic, smartphone, germs

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Boss: Scientists say our smartphones can spread the coronavirus. That's why I no longer answer the phone. You never know if the caller is infected. Asok: I don't think... Dilbert: Let it go.

Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety

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Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, office workers, safety, sarcasm, team

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Tina: Ugh, Dilbert is on the project team? That guy doesn't believe in safety. Man: Just out of curiosity, what evidence of that extremely weird allegation have you seen? Tina: What evidence do you have that you exist? See? Anyone can do that.

Asok Analysis

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 Asok Analysis  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, decision, managers & supervisors, numbers, analysis, experience, liars, department

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boss: put some numbers on this decision so it looks a if we thought about it longer. asok: are you seriously telling me to do the analysis after the decision? boss: if you need help, talk to one of the experienced liars in the department.

No More Id Badges

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No More Id Badges    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, i.d. badge, employees, freedom, tattoo, sarcasm, face mask

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boss: the company is considering no longer requiring employees to wear i.d. badges. asok yelling: yes! freedom! dilbert: too too. hold... hold... boss: ...in favor of permanent forehead tattoos. dilbert: always wait for the second part.

Becoming Golem

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Becoming Golem   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, creature, cynical, doom, experience, face mask, golem, jaded, lord of the rings, office workers, work, coffee, sarcasm

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asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.