Next Meeting Comic Strips - Page 94

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #discussion, #deliberating, #firing, #layoffs, #downsizing, #business

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Catbert says, "Do you want to lay off the highly skilled, whiny jerk who is toxic to the workplace or?" Catbert says, "?The pleasant but incompetent guy who will lead us to ruination?" Catbert says, "This got harder after we fired all of the unskilled, whiny jerks." The boss says, "Which one is uglier?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #details, #work, #slacker, #meeting, #business

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Wally says, "My project is unfunded, just the way I like it. Wally says, "I spend my entire say forwarding funny e-mails and lubricating my bowels with coffee." The boss says, "Allow me to explain something?" Wally says, "Better make it fast!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #crying, #afraid, #nervous, #breakdown, #business

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Job tension is running high Asok says, "I?I?forgot to total the cost estimates." Asok says, "Gaaaa!!!! You're going to fire me! I'm the next casualty of the frail economy!!!" The boss says, "Maybe we could finish this by e-mail." Asok says, "Must improve street-mime skills!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #appointment, #argument, #ridiculous, #security, #struggling, #angry

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Man says, "Hi, I'm Tom Jackson. I have a meeting with your boss." Carol says, "He has no one by that name on his calendar." Carol says, "The only people he's meeting today are Fob Meterfon, Gom Axfon, and Dabe Aggams." Man says, "Maybe when your boss said he was meeting with 'Tom Jackson' you heard it as 'Gom Axfon.'" Carol says, "Is that how you want to play this? Really?" Carol says, "Security, come arrest this man!!" Man says, "I'm Gom Axfon! I'm Gom Axfon!" The Boss says, "Where's Tom Jackson?" Carol says, "Don't you start with me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #game, #money, #broke, #correcting, #sitting, #business

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Dilbert says, "Welcome to another round of 'If we had money.' I'll go first." Dilbert says, "If we had money, we could design and test new products." Asok says, "We could go to training." Dilbert says, "You forgot to say, 'If we had money'!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #late, #confused, #yelling, #stupidity, #excuses, #uncooperative, #business

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Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. A truck turned over on the highway. What did I miss?" Man says, "We don't want to rehash the entire meeting." Dilbert says, "How about a quick summary?" Man says, "No, if we leave out any details, you'll think we made the wrong decision." Man says, "It's best for us if we keep you ignorant and angry." Dilbert says, "IF you marginalize me, I will become a nemesis to your project!" Man says, "I'm cool with that." Man says, "Sort of like a mascot?" Dilbert says, "A nemesis is not like a mascot!" Man says, "Maybe you could wear a giant squirrel costume."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #negotiations, #meeting, #capitalism, #disagreeing, #distrust, #business

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Dilbert says, "If we lease a machine from you, how can we be sure you'll stay in business to service it?" Man says, "How can we be sure you'll have enough money to pay the lease?" Dilbert says, "You could check our financials." Man says, "I'm pretty sure your financials are as fraudulant as ours." Dilbert says, "Good point. Maybe we could ask trusted third parties to vouch for us." Dilbert says, "Do you trust any third parties?" Man says, "Not since my financial advisor put my retirement savings in a ponzi scheme and had an affair with my wife." And thus ended capitalism Dilbert says, "Well, we tried." Man says, "Maybe I could grow food in my car."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #explaining, #work, #progress, #ridiculous, #lazy, #business

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Wally says, "I didn't do any work this week because my project will probably be cancelled in the next budget cuts." The boss says, "Wally, I don't pay you to do nothing." Wally says, "I'm pretty sure you do." Wally says, "But I understand your confusion." Wally says, "I too was surprised by the first few years of getting paid to do nothing." Wally says, "In time, doing nothing becasme its own sort of challenge." Wally says, "I'm like a ninja with no hopes and dreams." The boss says, "Wally, set up a meeting with me later." Wally says, "I'll get right on that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #employee, #graduate, #new, #avoiding, #useless, #business

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Man says, "I just got my MBA, and I'm here to solve all of your problems." Dilbert says, "Our products are junk and we're completely out of capital." Man says, "Have you tried jargon?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #violence, #punching, #pain, #meeting, #angry, #economy, #business

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Alice says, "I hear you have an MBA, just like the jerks who ruined the economy." Alice says, "I'm going to punch you so hard that it hurts everyone who has the same degree." Dilbert says, "What as that hideous noise?" Man says, "Ow!!!!"