Nose Job Comic Strips - Page 94

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991 Results for Nose Job

View 931 - 940 results for nose job comic strips. Discover the best "Nose Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Leadership Conference In Maui

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Leadership Conference In Maui - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, irritation, managers & supervisors, vacations

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Boss: The leadership conference is in Maui next week. I need you to sit in for me...and do your own job at the same time. While I'm drinking on the beach. Dilbert: I get it!!!

Wally Is New Pet Employee

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Wally Is New Pet Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business ethics, criticism, employees, managers & supervisors, office workers, work ethic

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Boss: I"m looking for a new pet employee. The ideal candidate would be a brown-nosing tattler with no ethical core. Wally: That sounds like a brilliant idea, even though Dilbert says you are a moron. Boss: You got the job.

Agreeing With The Boss

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Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, climate change, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, agree

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Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!

The Inexperienced Employee.

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The Inexperienced Employee. - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, criticism, employees, insults, office workers

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Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.

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. - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, criticism, managers & supervisors, office workers, sabotage

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Boss: My new employee is doing such great work that he makes the rest of you look like chimpanzees. I think you know what you need to do. Wally: Sabotage all of his projects. Boss: Try to do it before he takes my job.

Centralizing The Decentralized

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Centralizing The Decentralized - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, value

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Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.

Hypothetical Observer

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Hypothetical Observer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, idiot

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Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.

Wally Has Skills

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Wally Has Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, performance, review, robot, design, skills

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boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.

Project Update

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Project Update - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, project, update, plan, read, imaginary

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boss: did you send me your project update? dilbert: were you planning to read it? boss: no dilbert: then i totally sent it too you boss thinking: half of my job is imaginary

Reporting To Two Managers

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Reporting To Two Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, reporting, vp of sales, project, business, hate

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boss: dilbert, you'll be reporting to the vp of sales for the new project. you will also be reporting to me as usual. dilbert: congratulations on making me hate my job more than ever. boss: and you said it couldn't be done.