Work Day Comic Strips - Page 94

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #insincere optimism, #artificial sense of urgency, #delusion, #work for challenge, #not money, #good ideas, #sound bad

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Dilbert: I'm developing an insincere optimism to complement my artificial sense of urgency. Dilbert: I hope to top it off with a delusion that I work for the challenge and not the money. The Boss: How can you make good ideas sound so bad? Dilbert: Im an engineer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #product training, #pride in product line, #users experience, #painful boils, #relatively satisfied customers, #techniques

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Product Training. Man: You work for a company that takes pride in its product line. Only half of our users experience painful boils. We call that group the "relatively satisfied customers. what the?!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #worry, #paranoid beaver, #productivity rewarded, #alice, #merger, #boss

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Alice : My strategy is to work like a paranoid beaver during the merger. Surely my productivity will be noticed and rewarded when the downsizing begins, Man: and who is alice? The Boss: Im pretty sure thats the bald guy with glasses.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #rehired, #alice back, #dulled instincts, #first day abck, #business picking up

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The Boss: Business is picking up. We need to rehire some of the people that we downsized. I hope the time off from work hasn't dulled their engineering instincts. The first day back is always the hardest.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #hired wife, #mean, #condescending, #slave driver, #obnoxious

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The Boss: "I hired my wife to be our new receptionist." Boss: "I foresee no problems whatsoever." Wife: "Hey, Dipweed!" "Go buy me a bagel and a cappuccino." "Then wash my car and fill the gas tank." "NOW DANCE FOR ME, LITTLE MAN! HA HA! DANCE OR I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED!!!" "How may I help you? Have a nice day!" The boss: "Stop dancing in the lobby. My wife is trying to work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #trick, #paper, #look busy, #paper trick, #hallways, #wander, #office, #appearences, #rest, #avoid work

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"It looks like an ordinary piece of paper, but I added this finger holder." "Now when I wander the hallways looking busy I can totally rest my hand." "Working hard?" "Not any more!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #stolen computer, #boss takes, #employee, #work, #unjust

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The Boss: It's time to go power shopping. The boss: Nice computer. did you just get it. GAAA!!! The Boss: shopping always puts me in a good mood.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #internet security, #hole in inetrnet, #work 24/7, #network management, #buck passer

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Dilbert: "I discovered a hole in our internet security." The Boss: "What?!!" "Good grief, man! How could you put a hole in our internet?" Dilbert: "I didn't PUT it there. I FOUND it... and it's not.." The boss: "It's your job to fix that hole. I want you to work 24-7!" "Actually, that's NOT my job. But I'll inform our network management group." THE BOSS: "PASSING THE BUCK!!! YOU'RE A BUCK PASSER!!!!" DILBERT: "Forget it! There's no hole! It got better!" THE BOSS: "That's more like it." THE BOSS: "I fixed the internet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #airplane, #flight, #seats, #no room, #sleep, #six hour flight, #recline seat, #sleeper, #health

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Dilbert: Six - hour flight. I can get lots of work done, Six hour flight. I can get lost of sleep. Dilbert: I can't feel my hands!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #phone calls, #plane, #hello jack, #hi jack, #misunderstood, #scared people, #flight attendant, #alraming, #irplane, #learning from trip

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The Boss: what were your key learnings from the trip? Dilbert: I learned that there are people you shouldn't call from a plane. Earlier that day Dilbert: Hi Jack!