Big One Comic Strips - Page 94

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View 931 - 940 results for big one comic strips. Discover the best "Big One" comics from Dilbert.com.

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"Dilbert, come up with a plan to integrate our product with the one we acquired through the merger." "Okay. My plan is to throw away the competitor's product because it's just a cheap knock-off of our product." "How about a plan that doesn't make our CEO look like a moron?" "He could stop wearing sleeveless sweaters."

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Tags #suggestions, #audience, #readers, #resist perl pressure, #unfunny comic, #connect to network, #email, #note from author

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Note from the author "Approximately one gazillion people have suggested I draw a comic based on the following idea." "As you will see, this idea is not funny. But I give it to you anyway because I can't resist peer pressure." Unfunny Comic If you can't connect to the network, send a trouble report by e-mail. "Happy?"

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Tags #employee appreciation day

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The Boss: We're going to have an employee appreciation day on the 8th! "That's a Sunday." Alice: That's the best day for a potluck lunch. The Boss: You'll have all day Saturday to make a dish to share!" "I'll need a volunteer to organize everything. Let's see...Which one of you is the woman?" "Bring jackets. It's supposed to be about 45 degrees in the park that day." "I won't be able to attend because I do personal stuff on weekends." "Take pictures!" I hope no one else brought a pine cone appetizer."

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Tags #try rebooting, #tech support, #clone yourself, #adoption, #notice bugs, #slapped 1.0 together, #parents

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Dogbert's Tech Support "Try rebooting yourself." "Clone yourself, put the clone up for adoption, and hope intelligence can be influenced by the environment." "Evidently your parents slapped together Version 1.0 of you and hoped no one would notice the bugs..."

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Tags #less money, #use bydget, #flexible, #approving expenses

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"I need to use up my budget before the end of the year or else I'll get less next year." "So I'll be flexible about approving expenses for a few days. Wink, wink." "Nice coffee-holding panda." "You should see the one that isn't pregnant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #project acorn cancelled, #attend meeting, #good questions, #business

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"Can you come to a meeting at three?" "Why?" "I want to tell everyone that Project Acorn is canceled." "You just told me. So I don't need to go, right?" "You might have other questions." "But I don't." "Maybe someone at the meeting will ask a question that you didn't think of." "Should I attend every meeting in the world just in case someone asks a good question?" "Save that one for the meeting."

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Tags #charging time, #projects, #no work, #wind, #existence of your wind, #farting around

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"Wally, you've been charging your time to several projects, but no one has ever seen you work." "You can't see the wind, either, but surely you don't doubt that it exists." "I've also gotten complaints about the existence of your wind." "I rest my case."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buy insurance, #whole life umbrella rider, #read list, #acts of god, #wrong god, #lighting strike

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"I'd like to buy some insurance, but I don't know much about it." "You need my special indemnity casualty whole life umbrella rider binder." "What does it cover?" "I can't answer that directly?" "Just read that list of exclusions. Anything not in there is covered." "Does it cover acts of God?" "Yes, unless you pray to the wrong one." "How do I know if it's the wrong god?" "If you buy this insurance, and lightning doesn't strike me, try another god."

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Tags #ran six miles, #topper, #hopped to work, #broken leg, #better, #more better

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Topper "I ran six miles even though I was sore." "That's nothing." "I broke my leg and hopped all the way to work this morning." "You hopped 40 miles on your one good leg?" "On the broken one."

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Tags #bed idea, #new sourpuss, #optimism, #leadership 90 5 opitimism

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"Meet our new Sourpuss." "I heard that every office has one. And we didn't, so I went out and got one." "Does anything ever sound like a bad idea to you?" "Leadership is 90% optimism."