Butt Work Comic Strips - Page 94

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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You're too cute to work in engineering. I'm transferring you to sales. "No one wants to hurt a baby. Use that to your advantage." "And if you buy the deluxe package I won't be emotionally scarred for life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Did you ever come to work on Monday and realize that you forgot how to do your job? "Only a total moron would forget over the weekend how to do his job." "O-o-okay. I'm starting to remember who you two are."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Welcome to Dogbert's Retirement Planning Seminar. "Don't tell anyone that you retired. Just keep coming to work and collecting money for the weekly lottery pool. Then spend it on food." "I want my dollar back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #employee of the month, #award, #don't know my job, #never listen, #boss

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"The employee of the month is Tina, for all of the um...various work that she does." "You have stripped this award of its meaning by showing that you don't even know what my job is." "It's as if you've never listened to anything I've ever said." "You're welcome!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #charging time, #projects, #no work, #wind, #existence of your wind, #farting around

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"Wally, you've been charging your time to several projects, but no one has ever seen you work." "You can't see the wind, either, but surely you don't doubt that it exists." "I've also gotten complaints about the existence of your wind." "I rest my case."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #ran six miles, #topper, #hopped to work, #broken leg, #better, #more better

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Topper "I ran six miles even though I was sore." "That's nothing." "I broke my leg and hopped all the way to work this morning." "You hopped 40 miles on your one good leg?" "On the broken one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #programmers, #agile programming, #methods, #more work, #fewer people

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We need three more programmers. "Use agile programming methods." "Agile programming doesn't just mean doing more work with fewer people." "Find me some words that DO mean that and ask again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #10 million dollars, #company, #four people, #weather website, #web monitoring, #business

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"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #working 80 hours, #per wekk, #ground breaking, #starategies, #my underlings

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I'm working 80 hours per week and you hire someone to do your work??? "Leave him alone so he can think up groundbreaking strategies." "Such as?" "I changed your job title to 'My Underling's Underling.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2005's comic on:


Tags #no meetings, #create work, #canceled them, #drop in

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"Carol, why don't I have any meetings today?" "Your meetings create work for me, so I canceled them." "Maybe I could drop in on some people." "Harpoon."