Care About Personality Comic Strips - Page 94

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Care About Personality

View 931 - 940 results for care about personality comic strips. Discover the best "Care About Personality" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #regular goals, #stretch goals, #sacrifice health, #personal life, #criminal conduct, #bonus, #salaries below budget, #ultra stretchy, #employee rights, #taken advantage, #cheat employee

View Transcript

Transcript

"Here are your regular goals and here are your stretch goals." "What's the difference?" "The regular goals can be achieved by sacrificing health and your personal life." "The stretch goals require all of that plus some sort of criminal conduct." "I'm guessing that your boss gave uou the regular goals and you came up with the stretch goals on your own." "That way, When I achieve the regular goals you'll get a raise because I missed the stretch goals." "Then you'll get a bouns for salaries below budget." "Maybe we should talk about the ultra-stretch goals later."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hating software, #integration project, #hate it, #simply mentioned, #pros and cons, #balanced anaysis, #hatred

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: What's this I hear about you hating the software integration project? Dilbert: "I don't hate it. I simply mentioned both the pros and cons. People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred." The Boss: "How can you hate it so much???!!" Dilbert: "This is one of those days when it's hard to be me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fist of death, #alice implicated, #beat up men, #high crime, #area, #office, #picture, #pyramid shaped hair

View Transcript

Transcript

Senior management has decided to move our office out of this high-crime area. "Because every one of them was beaten up in front og the building by a guy with pyramid-shaped hair.'<Br>"Police released this sketch. The guy likes to yell something about a "fist of death.""

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company relocating, #high crime, #tax reasons, #ceo says, #limo, #parking garage, #chain bike to whino, #advice from ceo

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our company will be relocating to a high-crime area for tax reasons." "Our CEO says don't worry about your safety because your limo can pull right into the underground parking garage." "Then he added, "Or chain your bicycle to a wino. Whatever."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #things that don't kill, #great minds, #think alike, #spilt milk, #different findings

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Have you ever noticed that the things that don't kill you make you weaker?" "And great minds don't think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions." "I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disrespect, #slightly, #talk about problem, #asking, #requesting, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I think we should talk and try to work out our problem. Dilbert: "What problem?" Tina: "I'm referring to your utter disrespect for me. Dilbert: I don't disrepect you." Tina: "Not even slightly?" Dilbert: "Wait. I feel a little bit coming on right now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pre meeting, #problems, #fix them, #budgets, #deadlines, #technical stuff, #any questions, #feel nauseated, #great job, #compliments

View Transcript

Transcript

Let's have a pre-meeting before your meeting with our vice president. "Don't mention any problems because he might try to fix them." "Don't say anything about budgets or deadlines because he might reduce them." "Leave out the technical stuff because it will only confuse him." "That leaves me nothing to talk about." "Perfect!" "Hello... And in summary. Are there any questions?" "Wow! That's the first presentation that hasn't made me feel nauseated or dizzy! Great job!" "Why does success make me hate humanity?" "They deserve it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #last election, #incredibly close, #smart well inofrmed, #intelligence factor, #no right to complain

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "The last election was incredibly close. That's why it's so important to vote." The Boss: "Smart, well-informed people were evenly divded. Therefore, logically, that proves that intelligence is not a factor, so voting is absurd." The Boss: "Then you have no right to complain about the result." Wally: "I'm pretty sure I do."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #addicted to email, #endorphins spike, #loneliness and despair, #email to self

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm addicted to e-mail. My endorphins spike when I get a message." "When there are no messages, loneliness and despair overcome me." "Have you tried sending e-mail to yourself?" "We don't talk about that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weekly wally report, #worthless iput, #harmful advice, #ignored email, #priorities, #my budget estimates, #any success, #format

View Transcript

Transcript

"The Weekly Wally Report is bristling with tales of success." "I gave worthless input to marketing because they weren't specific about what they wanted." "I missed Alice's project meeting because she never confirmed the location." "I gave harmful advice to the sales team because they rushed me." "I ignored my email for a week because you said to focus on priorities." "And I didn't submit my budget estimates because Asok never told me what format to ues." "How can you call any of that success??!!" "Well, I'd compare it to my written objectives, but you never gave me any."