Full Time Employees Comic Strips - Page 94

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Full Time Employees

View 931 - 940 results for full time employees comic strips. Discover the best "Full Time Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #girlfriend, #two probelms, #looks, #personlaity, #extreme makeover, #fascinated by new person, #9 good tsories, #social liability, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: why can't I find a girlfriend? DOgbert: you have two problems: your looks and your personality. Dilbert: Hmm,two itsn't bad. I can fix my looks by getting and extreme makeover. Dogbert: you'll still need to improve M.T.T.S.F. Dilbert: What? Dogbert: mean time to story failure: Its a measure of ho long you can be fascinating to a new person. Dogbert: Ive been counting and you only ave nine good stories after you use them up youre a social liability. Dilbert: I saw a horse kick a woodchuck over a fence. Dogbert: still only nine.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #voice mailbox, #spam filter, #rejects email, #ear wax, #grid

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "My voice mailbox is full, and my spam filter rejects all incoming e-mail." "As soon as I build up a good load of ear wax, I'll be off the grid." The Boss: "Wally, we need to talk." "EH?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #trained employees, #feral employees, #in alley, #animals, #creamer, #crouched

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: we can't afford to hire any trained employees. Catbert: hire feral employees. The boss: where do I find feral employees? Catbert: I saw some in the alley. The bossL who wants a creamer?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #shave beard, #time slows, #to crawl, #envelope licker

View Transcript

Transcript

"I decided to shave off the beard I grew when I was waiting for my boss to get off the phone." "Beard? I hadn't noticed." "This will take awhile, so I'll wait until time slows to a crawl and do it then." "Did I ever tell you about my first job as an envelope licker?" "Click"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #more time, #no shaving, #all forms of hygiene, #unwashed telecommunting, #clown shoes, #long toe nails

View Transcript

Transcript

"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bad news coming, #time stopped, #grows beard, #eternity later, #boss forgets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Time has stopped until my boss gives me the bad news that he hinted was coming. Maybe I'll use the time to invent a new language and grow a beard. An Eternity later Dilbert: EE_YO NEBABA WANPONU GREP> The boss: I forgot why I wanted to talk to you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #need to talk, #phone rings, #time stops, #frozen look

View Transcript

Transcript

"Shut the door. We need to talk about what you've done." "What?!" RING "Gaaa!!! Please don't leave me hanging! What have I done??!" "Hello." "My watch stopped. No, wait, I think time itself stopped!!!" "Note: Time-frozen people look exactly like this."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #stalk, #new hire, #romance, #plan b, #demented, #Men

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: "I'm bored. It's time to stalk the new hire." "How long is the wait?" "About forty-five minutes." "When romance is involved, it's good to have a plan 'B.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #resume, #stole stuff, #great stuff, #caught in parking lot, #technically not stealing, #buried german tourust, #guilty, #crazy, #admits to bizarreness

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "According to your resume, you left your last job because you allegedly stole lots of great stuff." "Technically, if they catch you in the parking lot, and you give it back, that's not stealin'." "And you buried a German tourist in your cellar." "One time!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #small business, #need to be paid, #small man, #truthful, #painfully honest

View Transcript

Transcript

I own a small business. Its imperative that you pay us on time or else we'll go out of business. and then you wouldn't ever need to pay... Oh dear lord, what have I said?!!