Hope To Wear You Down Comic Strips - Page 94
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Dogbert walks down a sidewalk and a man in a trenchcoat says, "Pssst . . . Comrade Dogsky. Will you sell your master's electronic secrets to nice Soviet man?" Dogbert asks, "Will you be wanting them on microfiche or hard copy?" Back at home, Dilbert asks, "You're going to cripple the WHAT?" Dogbert, who is carrying plans, replies, "Evil empire. Trust me on this."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "You know what kind of music I hate?" Dogbert continues, "When they wear those outrageous outfits, scream like tortured weasels and nobody understands the words." Dilbert asks, "Heavy metal rock?" Dogbert replies, "Opera."
Dilbert walks down the hallway thinking, "Oh, crap. This is the third time today that I will walk by this same guy in the hall. I barely know him." Dilbert continues thinking, "This is so awkward. The first time, I said 'hello.' The second time we both made those closed-mouth grins and arched our eyebrows. What do I do the third time?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So I pulled the fire alarm." Dogbert says, "I don't think Miss Manners is gonna back you on this one."
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types, "To his horror, Dilbert discovers that all of his white socks have holes. 'My goodness!' he cries, 'I shall be forced to wear black socks to work.'" Dogbert continues typing, "'If only my pants reached the tops of my shoes, then the other engineers might not notice,' Dilbert despaired." Dilbert asks, "What are you writing?" Dogbert turns around and answers, "It's a 'geek' tragedy."
Dilbert looks down at a water fountain and says, "I hate this . . . When I'm really thirsty, there always seems to be some disgusting public fountain to taunt me." Dilbert continues, "No doubt this thing is crawling with cooties, and I'll have to wrap my lips around it to slurp the water out." The fountain says, "Hey, I'm not too thrilled about you, either."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "According to Einstein, time slows down as you approach the speed of light." Dogbert asks, "Didn't he also prove that time flies when you're having fun?" Dogbert asks, "So, if you walk slower, do you have more fun or just get more light? Were we finished here?" Dilbert is gone.
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "What do you mean you built a robot dog?!! You can't replace me!!" Dilbert says, "Calm down Dogbert." A robot dog comes up behind Dogbert and barks. Dogbert jumps and yells, "Aaaghh!! The devil dog! Help! Help!" The robot dog stands on his hind legs and says, "I was created to serve your every need, Master Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Okay, he can stay. But you owe me one."
Dilbert stands outside his lab. He tells Dogbert, "Well, Dogbert, I believe I have solved the world's garbage problem." Dogbert says, "I didn't know garbage had any problems." Dilbert and Dogbert walk down the stairs to the lab. Dilbert says, "I've invented the most efficient trash compactor ever." Dilbert kneels in front of a device and says, "This baby can squash two tons of garbage into a little brick!" Dogbert says, "No doubt you've considered the valuable uses for the brick itself." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Right . . . For home construction?" Dogbert says, "Or just as an immovable object that smells like Sylvester Stallone's socks."
In his dream, Dilbert floats in mid air. Dilbert thinks, "Ooh boy! Looks like another one of those flying dreams I keep having." Dilbert flies through the air thinking, "This is great! I just hope I don't crash and wake up this time." Dilbert is suspended over his bed on a pulley system. Dogbert holds the rope and says, "Houston, we are experiencing difficulty."