One You Of Ten Comic Strips - Page 94

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for One You Of Ten

View 931 - 940 results for one you of ten comic strips. Discover the best "One You Of Ten" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2004's comic on:

Tags #recognize noredom, #stop talking about yourself, #yawn

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogberts school for the social oblivious. Dogbert: Today I"ll teach you to recognize when your boring. Dogbert: This is called a yawn, when you see one , stop talking about yourself. BREAKOUT SESSION Ted: And then I chopped it right onto the green. Dogbert: Look,Look!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2004's comic on:

Tags #new voice presdient, #right and wrong, #customers project, #hate the most, #charge for time

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our new vice president of ethics will help you decide what's right and wrong." Wally: "When we talk to him, what customer's project should we charge for our time?" The Boss: "Whichever one we hate the most."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2004's comic on:

Tags #conference room, #burn the ruler, #phone, #speaker phone, #bathroom, #cell phones

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: whats that I'm hearing? Is some one on the conference call using the restroom. Had t - oops - me too - I am - Sorry - The Boss: Now tap the speaker phone button to "off"and burn the ruler.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2004's comic on:

Tags #enterprise software, #premium package, #friendly user, #economy option, #cheap one, #never had girlfreind, #adult website, #romantic invitations, #100 percent

View Transcript

Transcript

Our enterprise software comes in two flavors. The premium package boats a friendly user interface. The economy option does the same stuff but the interface is designed to ruin your life. we'll take the cheap one. I can tell by the ay you hold the mouse that you've never had a girlfriend. I'll send romantic invitations to al the pope on the email address list. Dont worry - i"lll us etc text that I would on a great adult website. when I said that you need to give a hundred percent I shut have been more specific.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2004's comic on:

Tags #buck passer, #do -it, #one day tear away shirt

View Transcript

Transcript

The busk passer The boss: I have a do-it of ryou.... Here. Asok: GAAA!!! The one day that I don't wear my tear-away shirt and this happens!

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2004's comic on:

Tags #liosuction, #disappeared, #head one, #eating donuts, #being fed donuts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "How did the liposuction go?" The boss: "Good." "People say I look younger. And thanks to my self-discipline, I'll keep off the weight." "One more."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2004's comic on:

Tags #wretched slaves, #freinds, #private offcies, #cubilces, #roman general, #dogbertious, #slaves, #treatment, #evil dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I'm reading the leadership secrets of the famous Roman general Dogbertious. "Heres a good one: 'Put your wretced slaves in cubicles.'" Heres another: Don't read this book to wretched slaves"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2004's comic on:

Tags #five projects, #deliverables, #motivational email, #slacker, #coffee cup

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Is it okay if I take on five new projects and ten deliverables? The Boss: um....okay. My motivational email messages are working, Alice: Can you help... Wally: whoa! don't know how many projects I have?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2004's comic on:

Tags #product development, #two thirds, #Features, #reduce scope, #change request, #stacks of paper, #mean, #unethical, #passive agressive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our budget won't cover all of the product development. We can only do two thirds of the features for that amount. The Boss: reduce the scope of the project by one third. Dilbert: Okay. The boss: but theoretically.... Dilbert: No...dear lord, no. The boss: Id I later give you a change request to add one feature could you do it for the same budget. Dilbert One? sure. DATA GOES IN : MANAGEMENT COMES OUT. One sure changes are free, Carol: where do I put the change requests?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2004's comic on:

Tags #greetings earthlings, #planetary annihilation, #break room, #new coffee stirrers

View Transcript

Transcript

"Greetings, earthling. I bring you either wisdom or planetary annihilation. The choice is yours." "Stay in the break room. I'll go get my leader." "Very well." "The new coffee stirrers are great, but I got the last one."