Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 94
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1000 Results for Retail Business
View 931 - 940 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 28,
2013
Tags cruelty, managers & supervisors, work ethic, employees work harder, caring managers, sausage casing, business
Transcript
Boss: According to studies, employees will work harder if they think their managers care about them. But that's hard for me because you're basically a sausage casing full of coffee and rotting organs. Dilbert: That must have stung. Wally: Less than you'd think.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday October 21,
2013
Tags big business, deception, trolls, annual budget, mystery, meeting, monsters, office, conference table, horns, business
Transcript
Boss: I'd like you to meet the two trolls who create our annual budget. Dilbert: Why do we need two of them? Troll: Because it's hard to reach into your own... Boss: Whoa! It's better to keep some mystery.
Wednesday October 09,
2013
Tags complaining, demand solutions, layer of management, managers & supervisors, solutions not complaints, business
Transcript
Boss: Bring me solutions, not complaints. Dilbert: Okay. Let's abolish the layer of management that does nothing but demand solutions. Boss: Now you're just being a jerk. Dilbert: Is that a complaint?
Saturday October 05,
2013
Tags employees, progress, policy, promote from within, better plans, business
Transcript
Boss: Our policy is to promote from within. Dilbert: How will you backfill the jobs of the people you promoted? Boss: From within. Dilbert: That's one of your better plans.
Monday September 23,
2013
Tags big business, executives, money, corporate strcucture, derivatives, offshore accounts, goodwill, customers, feel beholden
Transcript
CEO: Our corporate structure is so complicated that I have no idea where our money even comes from I think it comes from derivatives or offshore accounts or maybe goodwill. Dilbert: Or maybe customers give us money. CEO: I hope not. I don't like to feel beholden.
Saturday September 21,
2013
Tags computer programmers, managers & supervisors, obliviousness, code consistency, legacy systems, business
Transcript
Dilbert: What's your take on code consistency versus best practices for legacy systems? Boss; I want all of that stuff and I want it now. Dilbert: When people ask what you do for a living, what the $%@* do you say?
Friday September 20,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, work ethic, project, unstable applcation, data model, overly complex relational databse, lazy, business
Transcript
Boss: What's taking you so long on the project? Dilbert: The application is unstable because the data model is driven by an overly complex relational database and there was no integration testing. Boss: Does any of that mean the same thing as "lazy?"
Thursday September 19,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, innovation, business
Transcript
Boss: How's the innovation going? Dilbert: Amazing. It couldn't be better. Right now it's all happening in my mind. Bit if any of it gets out, I'll let you know. Boss; I think's it's fair to say I managed the bejeezus out of that situation.
Wednesday September 18,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, innovate, google, apple, 3m, smart people, fire yourselves, business, technology
Transcript
Dogbert: Today I'll teach you how to innovate the way Apple, Google, and 3M do it. Replace all of your dimwitted employees with smart people... then fire yourselves. The rest is just blah, blah, blah. Boss: Should we be taking notes?
Tuesday September 17,
2013
Tags lying, new business, professional liar, albis, job refernces, annual reports, born evil
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a new business as a professional liar. I'll provide alibis, job references, annual reports, and that sort of thing. Dilbert; Were you born evil? Dogbert: It feels as if someone else had a hand in it.


