Sounds Good Comic Strips - Page 94

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags set up instructions, read instructions, true engineer, set up, slurping sounds

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Dilbert and Alice open a box as Wally stands by, drinking coffee. Alice says, "Dilbert, we should read the set-up instructions." Alice and Dilbert lift the contraption out of the box as Dilbert replies, "Alice, a true engineer never reads the set-up instructions." Wally takes a sip of coffee. Dilbert continues holding the contraption as Alice reads the instruction manual: "It says to keep it away from any slurping sounds." Just then, an arm reaches out and grabs Wally's head.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boyfriend project, progress, seen in public, slimmed down, toned up, changed clothes, no combover, nobel prize, wrestiling, party, cocktail party, feeding words, socializing, mistakes, speech, control

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Caption reads: "The Boyfriend Project." Alice holds up a "Before" picture of her boyfriend in front of him. He is now strong, lean, and completely, bald. She says, "You're making good progress." Alice's boyfriend continues to flex his muscles as she says, "I'm ready to be seen with you in public. But don't do any talking." Alice and her boyfriend are seen talking to another couple at a party. Her boyfriend says, "...And that's why I think there should be a Nobel Prize for wrestling." Alice leans over and whispers in his ear, "I said..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags terrific conversationalit, write code, while you complain, embraced, date, end of date, kiss good night, hug, mean things, said

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Dilbert is dropping his date off after a date. She says, "Thanks for taking me to dinner. You're a terrific conversationalist." Noriko and Dilbert embrace as Dilbert says, "With you, it's easy." They are about to kiss when Dilbert continues, "I discovered that I can write code in my head as you complain about your job all night."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carol, connections in war zones, flights, good rating, humilation, parkside strangler, phone messages, press conference, secretary, vague objectives, complaining

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Carol sits across from the Boss, who says, "Carol, your overall performance rating is 'good.'" Carol screams, "AAAG! Good is bad! What did I do to deserve this humiliation?" The Boss replies, "Well, you gave me six hundred phone messages that said, 'It might have been Bob.'" Carol furiously replies, "You can't tell me that none of them were from a Bob." The Boss continues, "You arranged for all of my flights to have connections in war zones." Carol throws up her arms and says, "Excuse me for trying to save the company some money." The Boss says, "You held a press conference to announce that I was the Parkside Strangler." Later, Carol tells Wally, "And he refuses to take any responsibility for giving me vague objectives."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good job, meeting woman, late, sixty hour week, stock options decline, not impressed

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A woman asks Dilbert, "Do you have a good job?" Dilbert says, "It depends on what you mean by good." Dilbert continues, "If you consider the decline of my stock options, I work sixty hours a week for nothing." The woman says, "Hey, look at the time." Dilbert says, "My boss thinks I work eighty hours. Hee hee!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags magazine, key to success, optimistic, fail, point succeeding, feels good

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The boss says to Dilbert, "The key to success is to remain optimistic even when you fail." Dilbert says, "What's the point of succeeding if failing feels good too?" The boss says, "I'll read another page of the magazine article tomorrow and get back to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trust, integrity, teamwork, warm glow, unconditional love, heating vent, under vent

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The boss, at a confence table, says, "Our company values are trust, integrity and teamwork." Wally says, "For the first time in my life I feel the warm glow of unconditional love!" Dilbert, pointing up, says, "You're under a heating vent." Wally says, "Oh...well, that's good too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags most valuable asset, rampant ignorance, really cost, better jobs, across the street, don't know bugs, wearing trash cans, accidental exposure, consultant, business

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Dogbert is sitting at a conference table across from Dilbert and Alice and flanked by the boss and Wally. Dogbert says, "What is your most valuable asset?" Wally says, "Employees?" The boss stifles a laugh "Hee" Dogbert says, "Your most valuable asset is rampant ignorance." Dogbert continues, "For example, you would never start a project if you knw how much it would really cost." Turning to Wally, Dogbert says, "Employees stay here because they don't know there are better jobs across the street." Wally says, "What?" Turning to the boss, Dogbert says, "Customers buy your products because they don't know about all the bugs." The boss says, "Good point." Holding a trashcan, Dogbert says, "I recommend wearing trash cans on your heads to avoid any accidental exposure to knowledge." An employee, wearing a trashcan over his head, says, "Did he tell you he was a consultant?" Another trashcanned employee says, "He said he was selling trash cans."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags four hundred features, level of complexity, easy to use

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Dilbert is talking to a worker. Holding a list, Dilbert says, "Your user requirements include four hundred features." Dilbert continues, "Do you realize that no human would be able to use a product with that level of complexity?" The worker says, "Good point. I'd better add 'easy to use' to the list."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good news, bad news, power utility, company, new vp opeartaions, offcie, wheel attached, generator, business

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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I have good news and bad news." Dogbert says to a happy Ratbert, "The good news is I'm starting up a power utility company and you're my new VP of Operations!" Dogbert says to a chagrined Ratbert, "The bad news is that your office is inside a wheel attached to a generator."