Topper Versus Alice Comic Strips - Page 94

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Share November 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #working 80 hours, #per wekk, #ground breaking, #starategies, #my underlings

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I'm working 80 hours per week and you hire someone to do your work??? "Leave him alone so he can think up groundbreaking strategies." "Such as?" "I changed your job title to 'My Underling's Underling.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2005's comic on:


Tags #pet employee, #all projects, #cutting edge technology, #hawaii

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"Don't worry that I might give all the good projects to my pet employee." "Petricia, I'd like you to evaluate cutting-edge technologies in Hawaii." "Now, who's left to wax my back?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #flashy, #hot flashes, #suddenly hot, #burning, #cold, #cubicle near thermostat

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"Everyone meet our new team member, Flashy." "GAAA!!! Suddenly so hot!!! Burning!!!" "Flashy will be in the cubicle by the thermostat." "C-c-c-cold!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2005's comic on:


Tags #pension fund, #solevent, #workplace safety, #ceo, #smoking is cool

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"Management is pleased to announce that it has a plan to make your pension fun solvent." "In unrelated news, the guidelines for workplace safety have been relaxed." "Our CEO reminds you that smoking is cool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #fly on plane, #guidelines, #key employees, #ceo, #presdient, #same flight, #interns, #run with sciccors, #plastic bags, #over heads

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I have new guidelines on who can fly on the same plane." "We can't risk losing too many key employees." "The CEO and the president are not allowed to be on the same flight." "No more than three vice presidents may be on the same flight." "What are the guidelines for interns?" "Infinite interns are allowed on the same flight. You are also allowed to run with scissors and put plastic bags over your heads." "How many interns are allowed per plastic bag?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #misleading, #financial problems, #shady innocent people, #personal gain

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Our shareholders are suing us for misleading them about our financial problems. "Since when is it illegal to shaft innocent people for personal gain?" "Don't put that in the minutes." "I'll see what I can do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #company values, #question, #action, #results, #twice as much, #imagination, #all over the map, #soon and perfect

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Bias for Action Passion for Results "And these are our company values." "Please don't ask any questions." "Question!" "Do the results have to be good ones?" "Um...yes." "I'm not so sure. I think it would say that." "Since action and results are both important, is it okay to have bad results so long as it takes twice as much action?" "JUST DO EVERYTHING SOON AND PERFECTLY!!!" "Is it my imagination or is he all over the map on this?" "I forget what we were talking about."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2005's comic on:


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Dogbert Consults "Your time machine is a fraud, but no one needs to know." "With a few minor modifications, the user will vanish, and everyone will assume it worked." "This is in case you don't completely vanish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2005's comic on:


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Question: If our new product takes you sixty minutes into the future in one hour... "Isn't that the same as doing nothing at all?" "It also makes you lose weight if you stay in it long enough...while not eating."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2005's comic on:


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We've narrowed our target market to this guy. "He's the only one rich enough and stupid enough to buy our high-end product." "Our diamond-encrusted time machine will take you one hour into the future in only sixty minutes!"