Alice Side Agreement Comic Strips - Page 94

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #leadership succession plan, #freeze hiring, #staff, #pormotion, #bad idea

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Catbert: "You have to have a leadership succession plan." "There's a freeze on hiring, so you'll have to pick someone from your staff." Alice: "So, if something horrible happened to you, I'd get a promotion?" The boss: "This was a bad idea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2005's comic on:


Tags #balancing work life, #job anger, #destablizie, #crush urges, #punch something, #will want kids

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Dilbert: I'm having trouble balancing my work life and my personal life. How do you do it? Alice: "I use job anger to destabilize my hormonal blaance and crush any competing urges." "That reminds me I need to punch something today or I'll want to have kids."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #manager sounding voice, #promotion to management, #no qualifications

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"Congratulations, Alice. You're one of my two candidates for the promotion to management." "The other candidate has no qualifications except for his manager-sounding voice." "And he doesn't make that face.:

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #cure for cold, #side effects, #coughing, #store throat, #runny nose, #congestion, #nausea

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"I invented a cure for the common cold." "The possible side-effects are coughing, sore throat, runny nose, congestion and nausea." "So...it's a pill that makes you nauseous?" "Only if you have a cold."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #quality estimates, #arm, #torso, #stupid elbow, #forgetful, #yelling, #bearting, #holding document, #senior moments

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The boss: "Alice, where are the quality estimates that I asked you for an hour ago?" "It's between your left arm and your stout torso, about elbow-high." "Stupid elbow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #good news, #Promotion, #you didn't get it, #misogyny, #screams

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The boss: I have good news about the promotion you wanted: You didn't get it! Alice: "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY CALL THAT GOOD NEWS?" The boss: "They don't like positivity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #10 million dollars, #company, #four people, #weather website, #web monitoring, #business

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"Alice, this year you did the work of four people and made over $10 million for the company." "But according to our web monitoring software, you used company resources to look at a weather web site." "Thief."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2005's comic on:


Tags #cubicle cockroach, #working hardly, #kill it, #flame thrower

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"Good morning, Alice!" "Uh-oh, a cubicle cockroach." "Are you working hard or hardly working? Ha ha!" "I must find a way to kill it." "Do you have a flame thrower?" "I can't complain; no one would listen!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #project staus report, #random pharse, #generatormmeail, #listens, #when he's talking

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"Alice, can you show the new guy how to do a project status report?" "He doesn't read them, so we all use a random phrase generator. I'll e-mail it to you." "You said that in front of him." "He only listens when he's talking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2006's comic on:


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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources<Br>"Alice, you've been accused of making dismissive facial expressions." "You have also muttered the following sounds during meetings: piff, bah, ffff, and ssstoop." "Did anyone complain about this expression? I like to use it in these situations." "No, that's still good."